Seeing Double
by umbreonix
Summary: Years ago a thief disguised as a maid infiltrated the Hitachiin manor, made a promise with two twin boys, and ultimately betrayed them, but you've heard this story. What you don't know is that the thief never forgot her promise. Years later she gives her daughter one job, to go to Ouran and fulfil the promise in her stead. Get ready for the ultimate "Which One is Hikaru?" game! K-T
1. Chapter 1

"Oh my god mom." I looked down at my figure not yet brave enough to venture to the mirror. "I don't even… Oh my god." I, who had mastered five different languages by age thirteen, was speechless. There were no words, no words at all to describe just how, I don't even know, if I did, there would be words…. Which there weren't. Already with this disappointing lack of vocabulary my story is not off to a promising start. Let's continue anyway.

My mother sat at the table fiddling with a lock, too concentrated on her task to look up. "It's not that bad." The light of our dingy, and thankfully temporary, one bedroom apartment flickered overhead but remained on, casting the room in a dirty yellow light.

"Really?" I asked doubtfully, "I feel like Fiona in that one scene in Shrek the third. Not only is this probably the ugliest thing I've ever worn, but if I wear it too long I'm pretty sure it will crunch my insides."

"You wouldn't have a problem if you didn't slouch so much." She pointed out. "Maybe this dress will fix your posture."

I sighed and finally walked over from the kitchen to the bedroom to look into the full length mirror. "Oh heck no." I uttered staring directly into the reflection. First of all, the dress was yellow. That light mustardy yellow that doesn't look good on anyone. Second, "Look at these hips!" I exclaimed.

"It's not nearly as bad as-" She started finally looking up and then gave up instead attempting- and failing to hold in her laughter.

I crossed my arms and attempted to lean against the door frame in a gesture of, _yeah-laugh-it-up,-I'll-wait-'till-you're-done_, but found that with the skirt, said action was impossible. "They used those cagey things under the skirt!" I whined, "Those cagey things! No one uses those cagey things anymore!"

"There called crinolines." My mother smiled, "If you don't want to look like a fool on jobs at least learn the vocabulary."

"I know." I said irritated by her nagging. I pat the skirt which gathered on either side to rise a little at the hips. To me it bore the uncanny resemblance of the hind quarters on a cow.

I turned ninety degrees, glancing over my shoulder and winced, "Not any better at this angle." I sighed.

"Well, if you get your job done fast, you can take it off and never have to wear that thing ever again." She had returned her attention to the lock and it finally opened and she threw up her arms in victory.

"What are you even doing anyway?" I finally asked.

"I just proved it IS possible to pick a lock with human hair. Akiyama owes me 10000 yen." She said haughtily, twirling a thin brown strand between her index finger and thumb.

"Woah, seriously?" I asked coming up behind her as she demonstrated her new technique involving threading, and pulling at such an angle to give leverage. I watched in awe, my discomfort at the itchy underskirt temporarily forgotten. "That's awesome." I said turning the lock in my hand.

A quick thing I should probably mention about my family before you get completely lost. We are what one would consider to be thieves by profession. Good ones at that, not good as in good and evil type good, but skilled. Although we do stick to our morals. You could say that we have adopted a variation of the Robin Hood mentality. We would never take from those who are in need (though arguably it's more because of the correlation of effort to steal vs. pay-off), we specialize solely in the rich. That being said we're certainly not a charity. Our way of giving back is not to individuals but society as a whole. We take money that would ordinarily be catching dust in platinum bank accounts and circulate it back into the economy, we also take valuable pieces of art and such hoarded by rich collectors and allow the pieces to be viewed by all.

Of course, ethical stealing garners extreme risk. The wealthy are very attached to their money after all and have the means to protect it at great cost. As such, over generations we have mastered and created several different specialized skill sets which have made us quite formidable. There is no one in the underground community that doesn't know the family name, _Hikage_.

Also I was not just wearing this hideous dress for poops and giggles. No, I just turned sixteen and that means one thing in my household, I was to complete my first solo job. Thus, a week ago, we packed up all of our belongings in France and headed out to Japan. This also meant transferring highschools but I didn't really mind, the first rule of the Hikage family: Never become too attached to a person, place or thing.

I'll be the first to admit, it's not the easiest rule to follow, but if you never make any friends to begin with it helps. So I've become a little disattached and confrontational over the years.

"Mei." My mother finally said.

Yeah, my name literally translates in English to Shadow Shadow Child. Got a problem with it? (see what I mean, confrontational) I stopped tugging at the ribbon at my neck at looked at her. "It is time." She said and I swivelled my head to view out the window and saw the limo pulling up.

It was only when we were both in, the driver had risen up the divider, and the car began to move that she finally started the debriefing.

"I assume you have some idea as to what you're doing by now." She said.

"We're in a limo, so we're trying to show wealth." I started, "This dress is rather plain yet obviously expensive and made of high quality fabric so it's a type of uniform? Based on the time of day a school uniform? I am to infiltrate a private school?" I tried.

"Good." Said my mother.

"Really?" I asked.

"No." She snapped whacking me on the head with a file folder. "You should at least be able to recognize this as the Ouran High School uniform! It's only one of the richest schools in the world!"

I sulked and took the folder. It wasn't my fault, I hadn't been in Japan since I was five or six. "Is there a reason why you couldn't tell me what the job was until now?" I asked.

"Yes." She replied. "You won't like it."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked warily and then quickly opened the folder. The first paper was a small picture of two twin boys around my age.

I looked to my mother for explanation.

"Do you remember the last job I did before we had to flee the country?" She asked.

"You infiltrated the home of a high profile family as a maid and robbed them of a fortune." I said.

"Yeah." She said sadly, I titled my head, mother was never remorseful about a heist, only boastful. "It was the home of these two boys." She sighed.

"Alright." I said guardedly.

"I made a promise to them as children." She said. "My cover was blown, somehow they figured out that I was after their money yet they gave me one simple challenge. To tell which of them was which. If I answered they'd give me the combo to the vault and let me escape into the night."

I snorted, "Just like the rich to throw away their money. The little snots have no appreciation of its value."

"That's not it." My mother objected, "They were just so lonely. For whatever reason I was the only person they ever seemed to trust. They wanted someone to be able to tell them apart."

Oh throw them a pity party, poor poor rich children have problems too. They're lonely. There are people starving to death every day but no, they are the most pitiful children in the whole wide world.

"I could not fulfill that promise, I stole the code while they were sleeping." She said. "But now it's your turn, get to know them, fulfill their wish in my stead."

I looked at her blankly. "What?"

"I know this isn't what you thought would be your first job but-"

"No kidding! This isn't even a job! In fact it's a violation of the first rule! You grew attached to them, now I have to ice their booboos?!" I snarled.

"I think it's the perfect test for you." She sniffed, "You are much weaker than I am so don't even give me that look. You have zero social skills. Of course you'd never grown attached to anyone, you've never spoken a kind word to anyone outside the family, but on a job where you must pretend to be the target's friend, I wonder how it'll go? May I remind you the last time you tried to play grifter you ended up kicking the target through a wall."

"It was a shoji screen." I said in defense. "Wind can knock those things down."

"This is your mission." She said firmly, "No tradesies."

I crossed my arms and slouched in the seat only to sit back upright in order to breathe. Stupid dress.

"Now you read those files the rest of the way, young lady." She said, failing horribly at sounding like a mother.

I swept my jet black bangs out of my face and began to read the job description. My name was now Ueda Mei. Well at least I got to keep half of my real name. My family got rich in oil in Calgary, Canada before returning to Japan with enough money to last several generations and currently possessed several profiting investment shares.

With my identity firmly in place I picked up the brochure, _Ouran Private Academy._

_How hard could this mission be? I'll be out by lunch today._

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**Hi y'all. I'm Umbreonix, It's been a super long time since I've written anything for Ouran Highschool Host Club but I've had this story in my documents for years and just really really wanted to post it. So I did. Yeah. Cool beans. At this point in the process reviews are really helpful ;) *wink wink, nudge nudge*Afterall, this story is by no means already mapped out, it kind of develops as I go, so if you have any suggestions by all mean shoot. I'm not even sure I know who exactly I'm going to stick her with.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for reading everybody!**

**Neliel Von Schweetz- Yeah I didn't think they had crinolines either but the wiki said they did. Maybe they meant some sort of hybrid layer of of skirt that functioned as one. Either way I've kind made up for that in this chapter. Thanks for the correction!**

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You know when you build something up in your head and then are almost always disappointed? Like when you went you buy a bag of chips and the picture on the front shows this beautiful piece of culinary art, glowing all majestically and such with this mouth-watering refulgence and then you open the bag and it's half empty, filled with dull, under salted, deformed, and broken bits? Maybe that's just me but that doesn't matter either way because this was not one of those cases.

The academy was unlike anything I had ever seen. The front gates to the school was a five minute drive passing long sprawling lawns of thick meticulously cut grass. Considering the total area, this was enough to impress me, but the campus only became more surreal as we progressed, rose mazes with each individual flower an impossibly vibrant red the size of my fist, statues and immense fountains of clear water. Then we actually reached the school and I had to lean towards the window to get a better look. The massive buildings towered above us pristinely clean with intricate little details, not to be at all outshone by the surrounding scenery.

The interior was also impressive, I felt like an ant in the giant hallway and I looked up at the ornate ceiling in awe. "Isn't it wonderful dear?" My mother asked gripping my shoulders breathlessly. "Your father and I grew up near here and would always dream of going to Ouran."

It took me a moment to realize that she was playing a character. "It's such a shame he had a meeting and couldn't see you off to your first day." She frowned.

"Yeah." Was all I said. I wasn't really much into acting, so I'd always just say the bare minimum on jobs, blend into the surroundings.

A primly dressed woman hurried over briskly with a clip board. She stopped in front of us and smiled a bright, but obviously fake, smile. Her teeth looked too white, I couldn't stop staring at them. "You must be the Uedas!" She said, blinding me at each syllable.

"We are!" Beamed my mother discreetly kicking the back of my heel to stop me from staring at the woman.

"Perfect! Well if you follow me I'll be happy to give you the tour!" She lead us around the building, which, given it's size took half a day. I took in all I could, or at least what might be useful for the job. After all, there was much too much to memorize. If one wrote a book about Ouran it could go on for volumes. Coincidentally the next place we visited was library three which DID have an entire bookshelf dedicated to the academy's deep history.

"Amazing!" I said faking enthusiasm, "Now I can learn even MORE about the school."

The woman was still gazing proudly at the collection and didn't see my mother hit me. She also did not seem to catch my sarcasm. "Very right you are!" She said approvingly.

The tour ended outside my classroom. "Well then with that I would like to once again say welcome to Ouran! I would also like to congratulate you on becoming a member of class A. Not everyone gets put into this class especially those without extensive family linage." She sniffed.

I would have glared at her but I resisted by not making eye contact and thinking about kittens, adorable, adorable kittens.

"It's because of your amazing entrance scores so I hope you will continue to work hard, lest you drop to lower classes." She finished and led my mother out. I watched them go in shock. At best my grades were average, I was much better at being the muscle than the brains. It's not that I wasn't smart, if anything maybe I was too smart. Smart enough to save room in my brain only for what I'd need. Physics: The impact of jumping from any height of a building. Anatomy: where do I punch someone to ensure they stay down? Subjects with what I found to have practical applications were my strong points. Then, in the time I spent neglecting Shakespeare and the inner workings of plants, I learned more useful sets of skills.

Still, my family never seemed too impressed with my report cards. Out of anyone you'd think that they would understand. My mother looked back and gave me a look.

When cooperation in the field can lead to the difference between life and death, one learns to read a lot from the smallest of gestures. This look was telling me that, _Yes, they fixed the exam for me and yes, while I was here I'd better keep up on my studies_. She did this on purpose. Now I had to stay in class A.

Well, first things first, class. After that, to locate the twins. I stood awkwardly at the large classroom doors… Do I knock? Or just walk in? I really could have used further instruction.

I settled with knocking three times then tentatively peeking through the door. "Um, hello? I'm a new student."

The teacher gestured me in to the front of class for an introduction. The class watched curiously. "I am Ueda Mei-" At this, the majority of the class looked down, no longer interested in me, realizing that they'd never heard of my name before so I probably wasn't important. I would have felt irritated, but it made my job a lot easier.

"Your parents?" Asked the teacher impatiently. Most schools wouldn't ask that, I shouldn't have been expected to tell the class, "Uh, they're in oil." Was all I had to say. It was enough for the rest of the class to lose interest to. I scanned the faces. Well, found the twins. It certainly wasn't difficult finding two orange haired identical boys. The first doodled in his notebook, the second was balanced on the back of his chair perching his pencil over the bridge of his nose, tottering back and forth to steady it.

Disrespectful. I hoped he'd fall.

They certainly didn't seem traumatized by my mother's betrayal. In fact they sat in a way which put them on either side of a brown haired… boy. I think. They were one of those people who really could be either but you would never feel comfortable asking. He was wearing a male uniform so I guess it was safe to assume that he was male. Anyway, what I was trying to say here is they already had a friend.

He, I noticed, was the only one still looking at me. When we made eye contact he smiled.

I looked away in embarrassment. Then remembering that I was on a job and needed to play nice, I turned back and smiled… albeit a little grimly and took a seat. Ideally, directly behind the trio would have been the best location, I could see and hear them, without being too obvious about it, but this was impossible. A cluster of females encircled their table, each of these said girls occasionally sneaking a not-so-discreet glance at the trio. I was stuck moving to the very back of the class.

There was the faintest clack as the twin lost control of the pencil and it fell to the ground. From there pandemonium ensued. The females surrounding the three, turned from proper ladies to piranhas in an instant, all immediately lunging for the writing apparatus the nearest girl, diving in the most un-lady like fashion. After a scuffle too fast for even my combat trained eyes to follow the victor stood up wiping the imaginary dust off her skirt and turned to the twin immediately 180'ing her personality. "Um," She said with a soft and timid voice, "You dropped this."

The twin's eyes narrowed misgeiviously and made a sudden movement, cupping her chin with precision and delicacy, "Rather than just take back my pencil, do you mind if I take all of you?"

I could have sworn steam came out of my ears, did he seriously just say that? How embarrassing for him. The teacher at the front of the class merely leaned against the chalk board, waiting for this strange display to end. Which, by the way, only I seemed to find weird.

The girl melted, "Sure." She said dreamily.

The other twin pouted, "Hikaru." He said with a feminine voice. "Am I no longer good enough?"

The first twin's eyes widened and he turned to his brother immediately embracing him. "Idiot." He muttered into his ear, "You are all I'll ever need." He leaned out and the two gazed into each other's eyes, a nose-widths apart. The girls of the room squealed and I looked ruefully out the window, _Mother, what the heck have you gotten me into?_

The classes dragged by after that and finally it was lunch. I watched the crowds trickle out of the room, jumping when a gentle voice came from behind me, "Um, Ueda-san?" I swivelled in my seat slightly and looked back.

A shy girl in pink ribbons looked down at her crossed hands and back at me, her brown curls bobbing at the gesture. Another girl with short black hair stood behind her. "We saw you watching the twins in class."

Am I really that bad at my job? I did my best to look confused.

"Don't worry!" She said in a panicked voice, "Your secret's safe with us! Also we're not calling you out on it or anything! We're just huge fans and thought we might have a lot in common!"

"Do you want to join us for lunch?" Asked the other girl.

"S-sure." I said, utterly bewildered, this is not a common way to make new friends. Fans?

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I looked down at my fancy French lunch feeling a little outmatched by the three course meal. I probably should have paid more attention during my mother's etiquette lessons. I wasn't quite sure what half the things were despite having _lived_ in France for the last couple years. One bowl might have been a salad… or it could have been an accompaniment to another dish. I decided to follow the safest option, wait for the girls across from me to start eating and copy them.

I cleared my throat to cover-up the sound of my stomach growling, but unfortunately they took that as a que for conversation and their food was left neglected.

"I'm Usami Haruna!" Said the girl with the bows brightly,

"I'm Kitamikado Kozue." The other girl said shyly. "But please call us by our given names."

"So Mei," Said Haruna, dropping all formalities. I wondered what I could have possibly done to win over their affections so fast and undeliberately."What do you think of Hikaru and Kaoru?" Her eyes shone with excitement, awaiting my response.

"Uh.. they're ok." I said, they looked like they wanted more. _Just eat your grub already! I'm starving here!_ "… Sparkly." I finally conceided

"Right?!" Said Kozue losing her shyness in an instant. "Ah, and isn't their brotherly love beautiful?"

Huh, beautiful. Not the word I would use to first describe it. I'll play along though "It makes your heat pound." I said, looking away in such a way to pretend that I'm shyly admitting something. Did I say I didn't act? I retract that statement right here and now because this display was nothing short of masterful. They squealed in agreeance.

"We could just tell we'd get along!" Said Haruna, "Do you want to come to the host club after school?"

"Host Club?" I asked.

"You don't know?" Kozue in surprise, "The hosts are only the idols of our school, Hikaru and Kaoru included!" She pointed behind me and I turned to see the twins and their friend at a table a distance away with several other ridiculously attractive guys.

"Going right to left," started Haruna, "There's Mori and Hunny. They're both third years. Mori-sempai is the wild type, and Hunny-sempai is the loli-shota type." She pointed at a tall dark-hair man watching neutrally over a tiny blonde boy eating a vast array of cakes. "Then there is Ootori Kyoya, he's a second year who knows everything about everyone, he's the cool-type." A boy with glasses, living up to his type sat aside typing on his laptop with a calm and somewhat cold composure. "Tamaki-sempai is the club's king and he's the princely-type." This time she was gesturing to an almost beautiful mixed blonde boy. "Then there's Haruhi from our class, he's a commoner and the normal type and of last but not least there's the twins!" The first year hosts sat close together, the twins goofing around an exasperated looking Haruhi who appeared to be trying to study.

"So, what exactly do they do?" I asked skeptically.

"They're hosts, they entertain guests!" She said.

"Oh." I answered blankly. Is that really allowed? Sounds kind of sketchy.

"Come with us!" Kozue pleaded, "You can meet the twins in person!"  
That actually sounded like a choice opportunity. "Alright!" I beamed and then shuffled slightly to try to find a more comfortable way to sit on the chair. "Is everything ok?" asked Haruna.

"Sorry I'm just trying to get used to the crinoline, my old school's uniform didn't have one." I admitted.

The pair blinked and then burst out laughing, "You're actually wearing that?!" She gasped.

"Yeah…" I said.

"No one wears the crinoline." She shook her head, "It's not like anyone can check after all, teachers can't just ask us to lift up our skirts! Next you're going to say you are wearing the corset!"

I looked away in embarrassment. I might have been.

She pat my shoulder, "Don't worry, we'll look after you."

Maybe friends… aren't such a bad thing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the overwhelming support... and uh, sorry for the slow updates. You know... Exams. **

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For weeks I had been envisioning this very moment. Excited by the uncertainty of my first solo con. By now would I be playing Russian Roulette in a grimy back room, or maybe crawling through the air ducts of the thirtieth floor of an office building to steal files? These were not farfetched questions either, those last two examples were my Grandmother and Aunt's first jobs. My visions also all included black spandex. Hey, some girls need diamonds, some frills, I like my shiny spandex suits to feel pretty.

Naturally, I was prepared to put my life on the line, but _this_, oh no I did not see _this_ coming. _This_ might just be worse than every nightmare I've had over the course of my life. Blowing a rose petal off my face, I rose my brow utterly unimpressed.

"Welcome the the Ouran Host Club!" The voices exclaimed simultaneously as the doors opened too the squealing hoard of girls. I looked around in alarm and attempted a pathetic "Kya." Not quite reaching the pitch I was hoping for, voice breaking halfway at the unused chords.

The boys stood together posing for us. Somehow _not_ striking everyone as incredibly pompous and conceited. An arm pulled me along through the stampede. "Come on Mei." Smiled Kozue. I nodded and the pair lead me to a clothed table. A moment later the twins popped down across from us.

"Hmm?" Said the first, their eyes snapping to me, "Another kitten has joined us today." Said the second. They stood back up with smug and mischievous smiles, symmetrically parting to walk around either side of the table and surround me. Oh boy. This is not what I signed up for. I can run a mile without breaking a sweat but put attention on me during a mission and, geez, is it getting hot in here?

"What's your name princess?" Said the first, seductively lifting my chin before allowing his hand to brush up my cheek. Might I say he had ridiculously soft hands? I wondered what kind of moisturizer he used. I hid my own calloused digits into the folds of my skirt in embarrassment, averting eye contact at all cost.

"She's in our class idiot, maybe you should have been paying attention." Said the brunette boy while walking by. He stopped as a second thought and looked back, "Welcome to Ouran, Ueda-san." He smiled warmly, "I know it can be a big adjustment, just tell me if these boys are bothering you, I'll give them a talking to." My cheeks involuntarily flushed.

"Uh, yeah sure." I said.

The twin currently 'putting me under his spell' frowned and redirected his attention back to me and with more ambient roses blooming than ever, he lowered his voice to practically a purr, "Our Haruhi isn't poaching you away from me now is he?"

"Hikaru." The other pouted, a tear forming in his eye_ that he just couldn't bare to let us see_ so he looked away, "Don't you think you're overdoing it?" He asked quietly.

Hikaru looked at him with a conflicted expression. "Kauru…" He said softly, "You're not jealous are you?"

The other twin only ducked his head lower. Good God.

Hikaru hugged him tightly, "You know that you are my most precious person. You promised you wouldn't cry anymore. Or do we need to play the punishment game when we're alone?"

Haruna and Kozue nearly fainted with expressions of pure bliss but they revived, linked fingers, and squealed. I didn't get it. Like I kind of get the other hosts and maybe the excitement of them complimenting you but what's so great about two brothers ignoring you to engage in incest. I felt dirty just sitting there. Like when you accidentally go onto a website you shouldn't. Or when you create a fake ID to sneak into an adult club and steal a mob boss's wallet, if this comparison speaks more to you. Just to be clear I was guilty about seeing stuff at the club, not the wallet. That wallet is behind a display case in my room.

As I was day dreaming about my old exploits, stuff happened I guess and then- "LET'S PLAY THE WHICH ONE IS HIKARU GAME!"

I snapped my attention back to the two posing in front of the three of us, "Ueda-hime is new to this game so let's explain." Said one, "Though the rules are pretty simple." winked the other, "Guess which one of us is Hikaru!" They both announced.

The two shuffled on the spot and then looked at us expectantly. "I don't know." Laughed Haruna, "you two look identical." The girls chose indiscriminately and attention was turned to me.

I looked them up and down critically, this was my big chance, and they stood right before me too. I sized both up analyzing every last inch of them. There was the way their hair lay but you could tell by the part that it wasn't set and that they changed their hair up all the time.

"Just chose one." Kozue giggled, "You're taking this so seriously."

"Of course I am." I said honestly. "They're individuals, they should be seen a such, no one is the same person." I didn't mean this as something meaningful. Really I could care less but something flashed in the pair's eyes as they exchanged a look. I leaned back sighing in defeat, "I give up. I don't know you guys that well yet, if I win by guessing at random it would be meaningless. I'm going to take my time until I can get it right for sure."

They looked at me in awed shock.

A few nearby hosts looked over their shoulders as well, giving an approving nod or smile. I looked at them oddly, I didn't mean anything by it. It's my job. They probably now think I'm some sweet and charmingly determined girl. I held in the snort, I may just rob them blind someday, people need to learn to stop being such chumps. They oughta' learn a little from this entire school of two-faced maidens.

The girl's smiled at them, "So which one's which?"

The twins frowned, exchanged another look and grinned at them, "Not telling!" They said simultaneously.

"What?" Asked Haruna in disappointment.

Both twins grinned in at me. "Well we can't make this too easy for Ueda-hime. We're going to hold you to your promise."


	4. Chapter 4

**Happy New Years! I want to thank you all for taking the time to read it means a lot. Sorry I've had a really hard time finding motivation to update any of my fics it seems I can only write when I don't have the time to. Like, I just sit there at stare at the screen like, "How do I make good words?" Good news though, I'll stop having time to in a couple days meaning I might actually started updating! **

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A soft trumpet was all I could hear in the empty multi-office building. The soft and lonely sound was scratched and echoed, bouncing through the abandoned corridors, with the distinctive scratched sound of an antique record player. I creped through with light steps down empty darkened hallways. Following the sound and knowing I was alone, I hummed along softly, the song long since memorized.

I stopped at a non-discrete door, pulling a bobby pin from my hair to pick the lock, I know, not very original. The static trumpet gave way to the ominous plucking of an orchestra of violins and I stopped my humming, the door clicking open to an empty unused space. The main area was barren of any furnishing, still waiting for a company to take up the lease, or so it would appear on most days.

A light creeping under the door of one of the back offices betrayed its occupants. I entered the room, the family gathered around a table. The phonograph off to the side, amplifying old Vegas blues through its dirty brass pavilion. They looked up, "I'll be," Said Uncle Freddy, a foreign ex-mafioso married into the family. "Youse actually found da meeting spot, we was starting to doubt youse was gonna show up." He crossed his hands, fully displaying his tacky golden jewelry. He really did embrace the mob stereotypes. He was still one of my favorite people though as well as someone I'd much rather have as a friend than an enemy.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked offended.

"It just means that everyone else already cracked the code and got here." Said my Aunt Aneko smugly crossing one of her long slender legs. She, although being my actual blood relative and his wife, I did not quite like as much. If I had to describe her personality it would be... pointy if that makes sense. As a kid when I was only about as high as her legs the thing I always noticed about her was her deadly razor sharp heels. _Pointy_ toed with high frighteningly thin _pointy_ heels. Pointy, it's the only way I can think to describe her. It turns out you really can tell a lot about a person from their shoes. My cousins watched me with disapproving glances raising their almost unusually narrow noses and I suppressed my frustration. They really did think they were better than me but I knew I was every bit as capable as them.

I eyed the fresh deck of cards lay abandoned at the center of the table, they weren't lying, they really had been there a while. They played with a new pack each gathering, we may be family, but we're also thieves. No one was trusted not to cheat. Well, actually the whole point was to find ways of cheating that no one at the table would notice. It had become the main focus of the game over the years and was tremendously more entertaining than playing by the rules.

I plopped into the only empty chair left beside my mom. "I was out late working on my first job." I defended, if it weren't for the host club after school I wouldn't have had to endure this embarrassment.

"And how is it going?" Asked my mother in interest.

"I'm not talking to you right now." I dismissed her coldly.

She put up her hands sarcastically, "teenagers." She said to the table and they chuckled. I flushed in embarrassment and annoyance.

"Take it she doesn't like her mission?" Asked Uncle Yamamoto.

"You could say that." My mother laughed.

"Shall we get to the matter at hand?" My grandfather asked impatiently. He flicked his whitening beard, "The diamond's departure date to England has been moved… to tomorrow night."

"That gives us no time." My uncle said angrily slamming the table.

"We'll have to move fast." My mother bit her thumb.

"Why don't we nab it in transition?" I asked.

They all looked at me condescendingly. "_We_ aren't doing anything." My aunt scoffed.

"Don't get ahead of yourself junior." My uncle laughed, "Ya still gotta finish da job before you can roll with da big dogs."

I clenched my fist under the table, I was still being treated like a child. If I had just been able to complete my job today, things would be different. "I'll get it done." I mumbled, "Just you watch."

* * *

I had entered my second day at Ouran with renewed enthusiasm and determination. (Corset and crinoline thankfully abandoned) It seemed like nothing could go wrong- but then the actual school work really started to catch up to me. By break time I just felt hollow. Ignoring the surrounding commotion, I stared at the blackboard blankly. I hadn't learned any of this stuff before, as expected of the top class of an elite school.

It was a gamble now, do I focus solely on the twins with the intention of finishing the job before I fell too behind or do I catch up in grades to buy myself time?

I sighed, I have never seen so many numbers before in my life, even if I wanted to catch up…

"It's nice to see someone taking school seriously." Said a voice, I turned.

The other host Haruhi smiled, "You've been looking at the board all break."

"I don't get any of it." I said deflated.

"I could help you if you'd like." He said.

I blushed. He was so nice, no one had ever gone out of their way to offer their help to me before. "Uh sure." I said, "When could you?"

Haruhi looked up thoughtfully, "I have host club every day after school…"

"Right." I sighed.

"Though I don't really get many customers on Thursdays so maybe we could work together there?" He asked.

"Sure." I said immediately.

"Well then," he smiled, "I'll see you there."

"Absolutely." I nodded excitedly and then paused questioning why I would feel so excited about studying in the first place.

I was in for a surprise at the host club. Today was apparently a "themed day". Something Haruhi had neglected to mention. I was whisked away by hired help the moment I entered the music room.

"The host club is trying something new today!" Smiled the woman dressed as a maid, or maybe she was a maid. "We will be haveing both the hosts AND the guest dress up as you you enjoy the wonders of the ancient Egyptian deserts." I let my guard down for a minute and somehow in that minute the super maid was suddenly able to strip me down to my drawers and wrap me in luxurious white cloth all I could do under her hulk strength was protest loudly enough that the students in the other room were probably turning their heads in puzzlement.

The deed was done and I wobbled out of the change room feeling utterly violated.

I tugged at the fabrics uncomfortably. "You look nice, Ueda-san." Said Haruhi coming up to meet me and leading me to an empty table.

"Oh, um thanks." I said with a voice way to quiet and meek to be my own. I blinked and shook myself out of it, electing to glance around. the host club pulled out all the stops in decorating, I hardly even recognized it as the place I was in yesterday. They even filled parts in with sand and an actual oasis in the corner with real exotic plants. Rich people events. I bet they won't be the one cleaning this mess up.

I heard footsteps behind me but didn't bother to see who it was until they suddenly were thrown off pace, pausing behind me. "hmm?" I heard.

I turned, the black haired host with the glasses had stopped behind me on his rounds. "Ueda-hime." He said.

"Yes?" I asked, how did he remember my name? I didn't even remember his name.

"Your muscles are surprisingly toned for someone who's never played any sports." His glasses flashed.

"I played baseball in jr. high." I said going through all the checks of a convincing lie. Don't give more detail than he needs, it sounds as if your covering up something.

"But you weren't on your school's team." He said, "Or on any outside leagues."

"I played at home. You don't have to compete to play a sport. I also work out, I like to stay in shape." I said evenly.

"With no gym membership?" He asked. What the heck was with this guy? I'd only been here two days and I've done nothing to compromise my cover, yet he had to be deeply suspicious to dig up all this info on my fake history.

"Why would I go to an outside gym when there's one at home?" I asked.

"Home." He said thoughtfully, typing a few words into his computer "Where exactly are you living there's no registered address?"

"We haven't decided on our permanent home yet, my mother is really picky and is still looking for the perfect place that fits all her requirements. In the meantime we're living in a suite nearby." I had to be very careful with my words apparently, this guy was sharp.

"Kyouya-senpai." Said Haruhi with annoyance, "Ueda-hime here is trying to study."

"Apologies." He nodded his head and left.

"What the heck was that?!" I asked her. "Who was that?"

"The bloody shadow king." Haruhi muttered dryly. "Don't mind him he just likes to know every last detail about every last person here at Ouran, particularly our customers."

Have I already messed up, Kyouya did not seem like someone I wanted to be under the radar of. Obviously the host club was not the gift opportunity I thought it was. Though my family was incredibly thorough in identity creation, he shouldn't find any hiccups unless I got him suspicious enough to really dig.

"Shall we keep studying?" Asked Haruhi.

"Right." I nodded. "Uh, thanks for doing this again. I'm sure it's a kind of boring way to spend your host hours."

He stopped and looked up at me, "No not at all. I'm really glad you're here. The host club has been taking out a lot of my study time. This is really helping me out also."

"You're a scholarship student, right Fujioka-san?" I asked.

"Yup." He nodded, "I can't stay if I don't remain top in the class."

I coughed. "How do you have time to be here?! Isn't it stressful?"

"I owe the host club money after the twins cornered me into an expensive vase." He said dejectedly.

"Well how much do you owe them?"

"Who knows at this point? Senpai is always adding and subtracting amounts for various things…"

"Bloody shadow king." We both repeated at the same time and laughed. I was feeling a little giddy at that moment, I had never really connected with a person like this outside the family before.

'So let's move on to the next sample question." He smiled, a warm feeling blossomed in my chest. "Okay."

"What's this?" Said a mischievous voice and a twin slinked over my shoulder, the whole world was against us studying weren't they? I flinched at the contact the shear costumes allowing the sensation of skin on skin. The other twin leaned in front of me a little miffed. "Weren't you _our_ customer?" He asked. "Right after you said you'd learn to tell us apart too. Have you already given up?"

"You know we were joking when we said Haruhi was going to steal you away from us?" Said the one behind me.

"I haven't forgotten what I said. Fujioka-san is just trying to help me with the school work." I said evenly. "I'm having a bit of trouble making the leap."

One of them picked up a paper, "You're having difficulty all the way back here, you must be pretty dumb, how are you in class A?"

"Hikaru." Snapped Haruhi and he slinked back.

"Whatever." He scoffed, "We've gotta get back to work."

I turned back to Haruhi in surprise, "You can tell them apart?"

"Of course." He said, "For one, Hikaru is a lot meaner, their actions are subtly different too. It's not that hard to see once you get to know them."

Information noted. "You must be pretty close to them." I commented.

"Yeah I guess. Don't take what they said to you to heart. Stuff's happened to them in the past, they'd been looking for someone to tell them apart for a long time before I came. Apparently a maid they once trusted betrayed them or something." Haruhi shrugged, I looked away guiltily. "So when you said all those things yesterday, called them individuals and told them you'd learn to tell them apart they were really happy."

"Well I meant it." I said, "I really want to be able to tell them apart."

"Well I'd be happy to help you with any of that." Haruhi smiled.

With that I had just made a very powerful ally.

* * *

**"Huh, hope this isn't going where I think it's going." **

**If it is Mei's gonna be shocked when she find's out Haruhi's gender. Poor girl. **


	5. Chapter 5

**I felt bad about not updating so I wrote this up real quick, but I've got a really heavy course load this term so it might be awhile again 'till next chapter. Sorry folks. **

The teacher erased the complex chain of equations off the board signifying the end of the lecture as well as the start of the test, I frantically scratched the last couple lines into my notebook. She had a tendency to move very fast during her lessons and the class visibly deflated in relief, slumping in their chairs, some, massaging their abused writing hands.

She rooted through her briefcase, and then apologized upon realizing that she had left the papers in the staff room and needed to go get them. The moment she left, students began to casually converse to their neighbors.

I reread the notes with a triumphant feeling of pride swelling in my chest, Haruhi had gone over this part the other day and I actually found myself understanding what I was looking at. If I just went over a few questions I'd be solid.

Haruna and Kozue descended upon my desk, each pulling up a chair.

"So diligent, studying during break." Kozue teased, flicking a strand of my hair affectionately.

I wanted to inform these geniuses that this wasn't technically a break, we were about to write a test and not everybody had the brains to pull off math without studying but instead, I just nodded.

"It isn't because you've found a new favorite host is it?" Teased Haruna.

I looked up, "What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, maybe you're trying to impress someone? I hear yesterday you went to the club and reserved Fujioka-kun. Are you already over the twins?" She asked sadly.

"No way. It's not like that." I said flatly in that monotone voice I couldn't help but use when I tried to summon any sort of fan girl affection for the twins. "Fujioka was just helping me understand the homework."

"Of course," Nodded Kozue in understanding, "I mean, Haruhi is nice but there's just something exciting about the twins."

"Their hair," Noted Haruna

"Their eyes," Added Kozue

"And when they show their brotherly love," Haruna started and both girls squealed silently.

"Yeah, totally." I said dismissively "It makes me feel like some kitten-puppy hybrid somehow burrowed into my chest and is nuzzling between my ribcage"

"Not very poetic are you…." Haruna asked with a forced smile.

"Really?" I asked.

"Usually it would be something like, 'it bring butterflies to stomache.' Or 'it makes my heart stop.'" Kozue lectured.

I cringed, "That's just as morbid, who would want insects flying around inside them, and you need your heart to keep going! Why can it be butterflies but not puppies or cats?"

"Well it's hard to explain." Kozue frowned, "Obviously you've never fallen in love but when you do you'll understand. Also maybe you should use less graphic comparisons."

I shrugged. "Are you coming to the host club today?"

They grinned, "Of course! Be sure to meet us here after last class okay?" Said Haruna.

I nodded. "Here, after last class. Got it."

The teacher entered back into the classroom, attempting to walk with her usual elegant sophistication but was clearly winded having rushed to the teachers' lounge floors down from our class and back. I guess that's the downside of such a ridiculously large school.

The papers were handed out face down and I clenched my jaw, moment of truth…

* * *

The final bell signifying the end of the day rung and just about time, somehow the history teacher made the feudal era about as interesting as drying paint.

I quickly packed up, jamming my binder into my school bag and slung it over my shoulder. I probably shouldn't have been in such a rush, it made me stand out. The rest of the class was still drearily organizing their notes by the time I was out the door but I was a little anxious, the marks for the math test were to be posted by the end of the day.

It was time to see whether the studying paid off. It's not so much that I cared about my grades but if I didn't do well I was very near to being dropped a class and separated from my targets. Plus, if I put effort into anything it better pay off, my time was important after all.

Sure enough the papers were posted, or well, framed outside the classroom. Sometimes the school was a little overboard on their attempts at looking classy this was one of the cases. The class standings were written by hand in beautiful calligraphy on expensive paper behind the glass of a golden frame, all for the sake of keeping with the décor of the hall. I would have laughed at it if I weren't so focused on the actual writing.

I scored twenty first in the class of thirty and above the other classes. Overall, twenty first of a hundred or so students. My lips curled up a bit with pride, considering the material was so beyond me just the other day, I made incredible progress. Despite all the times I said I didn't care about my marks this felt surprising good. Maybe after all this was done I'd try to put an effort in more often.

"Congratulations." Said a voice, I turned.

Haruhi smiled his usual polite but relaxed smile and I couldn't help but smile back a little meekly. "Thanks." I said quietly, "it was all thanks to you." I had no idea where this shy modesty was coming from and the scary thing was, it wasn't even an act.

As I tried to desperately search for my usual feelings of cool indifference Haruhi responded. "But a lot of those questions were quite difficult. Considering where you were at the start of yesterday I was actually worrying about you while we were writing."

My entire face heated up, "You were?" I squeaked. No one ever worried about me, especially not over something so ridiculously insignificant. Although, to be fair to my family it was only because they had complete faith in me. At least I like to think that's why they didn't interfere that time during vacation where I went missing for a night after accidentally getting involved with the Mexican cartel. Ok, to be honest that stung a little. I mean, I was totally alright but _they_ didn't know that.

Anyway Haruhi smiled again and excused himself to go set up for the host club and suddenly as I watched him go I froze, I think I finally understood what the girls were talking about before the test. I my chest I felt… _butterflies_.

This fact completely freaked me out. I could NOT like Haruhi. Not only was I on a job and supposed to stay completely detached but, he was a _nice guy_.

Nice guys could not be my type. That would be horrible. After all, people like us on the other side of the law were better off getting together. Marrying someone outside the business would mean having to keep up a cover even at home and that just sounded tedious but you don't find kind people in the underworld. I shook my head refusing my fate and this is when Kozue and Haruna found me. "What's wrong?" Asked the black haired girl worriedly.

I looked at Kozue in surprise, "N-nothing!" Oh my god, I stuttered.

They exchanged a look and then smiled at me, "Are you ready to go?" Haruna asked.

I nodded and we headed out. Again, we sat at the same table as on the first day and the twins joined us a couple minutes later.

"Look who's back." One commented to me haughtily and I hid my annoyance. In actuality, I was glad that they were like this. I'd be in serious trouble if they were at all like Haruhi. Obviously, I wasn't good at staying unattached to people unless they really were irritating.

"HHAAAARRUUUUHIIIII!" A voice interrupted the conversations in the room and we all turned to look.

The prince of the host club had glomped onto Haruhi. "I just heard you got top in the class again in the last test! Daddy's so proud!" He fawned.

Haruhi looked… irritated. "Sempai." He protested trying to wriggle out of his grip, "It's not a big deal, I always do. I _have_ to get perfect." Finally worming out he glared at the upper year, "Stop shirking your work!"

The twins gave symmetrical Cheshire grins and slinked over, both wrapping themselves around the brunette like snakes.

"Haruhi." Said one with a cutesy voice, Karou likely since he most often took up the feminine role. "I had problems with the last question. Since I'm in your **class **I figured we could look the test over together during the time we spend together in the same **class." **I swear his face turned demonic for just an instant each time he mentioned 'class' while giving the prince a gloating look.

"It sure is great to have you in our **class. So we can spend extra time together outside of club." **The other grinned sardonically, more at Tamaki than Haruhi.

The blonde finally snapped, "YOU TWO LITTLE DEVIL'S GET OFF MY DAU- SON!"

Haruna giggled, "aren't they all so funny?"

I just watched it all in dull awe.

The blonde turned to the approaching ice king, "Mommy! These kids are being bad!"

The raven haired man smiled but it didn't reach his eyes and the room chilled a couple degrees. The hosts all had the good sense to separate and straighten up in fear. Instead of addressing the issue he politely apologized to the room for the host's unprofessional behavior and began to advertise photos of the hosts in yesterday's desert themed costumes.

Girls began to flock around excitedly and I followed Kozue and Haruna who went to join the crowd.

Colourful pictures were spread out on the table of a lot of half-naked highschool boys in robes. The only one actually decently dressed was Haruhi.

Other's seemed to notice the discrepancy too.

"Hey…" Said a girl in twin tails, "I just realized, how come Haruhi never goes shirtless?"

"Whatever do you mean princess?!" Asked Tamaki a little too quickly and with just a little too much panic.

"Well, even on the day of medical examinations we didn't get to see him, and he's got a good figure too…" She sighed.

As Tamaki spluttered frantic nonsense, Kyoya smiled professionally, re-adjusting his glasses. "You see, Haruhi's appeal is in the allure of not knowing. This way it is all left up to your imagination."

The girls looked a little dissatisfied with this but none the less went with it.

It was then that I noticed one crucial detail. Kyoya did not have his laptop. Until this point I had never once seen him part with it, but I had been eagerly waiting. If I ever could get to it when he wasn't looking, I could figure out just how much he had on me and just how hard he'd been searching compared to his other customers. If my file was standard to everyone else's, I'd know I was in the clear.

Without making a sound I backed up, alerting no one's attention. While I was still an unsuspicious distance from the crowd I watched everyone's direction of attention, luckily the guests were all focused on the pictures and the hosts still looked a little rattled for some reason. The timing was perfect.

I walked away casually and closed myself into the backroom. This is where he had gone the last time I saw him with the computer. It would make sense for it to be here anyway, it was the only place guests did not enter.

Again I was hit by just how ridiculous this school was. This was just a music room and yet the backroom had everything, even showers.

I didn't gawk long, I had limited time and so I quickly spotted the laptop on a table. I pulled out some specialized gloves before I proceeded, covering both of my hands. This guy seemed so paranoid that if he felt his computer had been touched he might just send it off for prints. These rich kids really were unpredictable, it was best to predict for the worst.

I flipped the top open and felt my jaw drop. The security on this thing was more intense than that of the Louvre's. What exactly did he have on here? Talk about overkill.

There was a ruckus right outside the door followed by the sound of a girl apologizing profusely. I could hear Haruhi's voice telling her it was completely alright and then the door opened. By then I was already holding on strong to the ceiling's corner.

It was an instinctive reaction, but I realized my mistake right away. This wasn't like other times, it wasn't night time and I wasn't wearing my usual black, I was a bright, eye-catching yellow poof in the top corner of the low roofed room.

Haruhi entered the room and I held my breath hoping he wouldn't notice me because it's pretty hard to explain to someone why you're doing a ceiling cling in a restricted area.

He had coffee all over the front of his coat. He sighed to himself, "Sempai's definitely going to charge me for this."

My heart went out to him really but the more he dawdled, the more strained it felt holding the position.

Tamaki quickly followed him in, "Haruhi are you okay?!"

Haruhi sighed, "Yeah sempai, it's fine."

"If you pass me the clothes right now I'll get them washed, hopefully before the stain sets in." He said.

Haruhi nodded and shrugged off his coat, tossing it to the blonde who caught it.

They headed out of the room to the hall with the showers as well as out of my line of sight. I could still hear their voices though. "You can just pass me the shirt through the door." Said Tamaki and there was a rustling noise.

"Here." Said Haruhi.

I frowned in confusion. He _really_ didn't want to be seen without a shirt. I understand not wanting to be under the eyes of a bunch of drooling and hormonal teenaged girls, but the guys too? "There's a fresh uniform in my locker." Said Tamaki.

"Thanks sempai." Haruhi's voice echoed from the bathroom. Only when the doors closed and Tamaki was back in the main room and Haruhi was in the shower did I allow myself to drop gracefully to the floor.

The door to the backroom opened again and I shook my hands in exasperation before rolling behind a table.

Two girls giggled and my eyes narrowed in suspicion. They entered the room, glanced around and began opening lockers.

One girl giggled again and the other girl shushed her loudly and I rolled my eyes at their inexperience. They collected the articles Tamaki spoke of as well as whatever spare shirts they could find and headed back out.

I scowled, what a ridiculous prank. They probably ruined his clothes just so that they could get him stuck shirtless. Did they not realize how much money a uniform was to a poor family? Probably not.

They left and I got back up, quickly returning to the lap top.

I got through the first layer of security when a surprised voice caught me off guard.

"Ueda-san?" It was Haruhi.

I slammed the laptop shut at breakneck speed although I'd already been caught it seemed. _How it the world?_ "The shower's still going." I said dumbly, frozen in spot, red handed, not even looking at him.

"Yeah, it's one of those fancy automatic ones, it's minimum setting was five minutes but…"

I turned to him, only to gape. *Cue shattering noise*

"You're a girl." I said. Well, there goes my first love.

It was unmistakable, he/she wore a thin pink undershirt with two small but definite 'bumps' under the chest area.

"Yeah." Said Haruhi, completely unfazed at being found out.

My heart was breaking in two, really.

"I needed to cross-dress to pay off the hosts faster." She explained, "I don't really care either way what people see me as." She gave me a curious expression, "So what were you doing with Kyoya-sempai's lap top?"

I knew she'd ask, and I calculated the perfect response. "To be honest, I thought it was kind of creepy how he knew all about me yesterday, and obviously everyone has embarrassing little things they don't want others to know about… I just wanted to know how much he knew…. Can we keep this a secret?"

Haruhi nodded. This was one of the best ways to get out of being caught in my opinion, rather than completely argue what they clearly saw, tell them exactly what they expect to hear but play it down and then make them feel like a partner in crime.

She walked over to the locker only to find it empty and sighed. "Well, I guess the jig's up now."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"It was probably the girls that did this... I'm in here. The only way to get another set of clothes is either from my gym locker downstairs or to ask a host but I'd have to go out of the room to do so.

"I could ask…" I started.

"No." Said Haruhi, "They'll see you leave the room and you'll get in trouble. Plus the girl's are right outside I could hear them when I passed the door. They're waiting for the door to be open so that they can see me. It's fine, I'll find another way to make up the money."

I sighed deeply, still feeling a little apathetic after the whole the-boy-I'm-In-love-with-is-actually-a-girl thing, but I owed her.

"No, I can't let you do that." I said blandly, "Where downstairs is the gym locker room?"

"Just below..." Haruhi answered curiously.

I nodded and opened the window.

"What are you doing?!" She asked in shock.

I looked back, "What does it look like? I'm climbing down." Before she could protest further I casually hopped down, dropping a level and gripping the room below's window sill with a single hand. Luckily this physical stuff was my specialty and I was kind of happy to have gotten the opportunity to use at least one of my skills on my first job.

Haruhi popped her head out of the upper window in panic just as I had heaved myself up to stand precariously on the thin sill. "That's really dangerous!" She protested.

"It's fine." I waved her off, managing to get the window open. I hopped in, completely startling this boy who was unfortunately caught in just a towel. "What?" I asked him a little aggressively and he scurried off without a complaint.

I peeked my head back out, "Which one's your locker?" I shouted up.

"134!" She called back, "The combo's-"

I wasn't listening I already got to the locker and solved the lock, although the fact that they even called themselves 'locks' was cute. Nabbing a coat and shirt, I found a baseball bat in the corner of the room. I hooked the two pieces of clothing over the tip and returned to the window.

"I got them!" I called and then stepped back onto the ledge, reaching the bat up as high as I could so that she could grab the clothes.

"Thank you." She smiled and I couldn't help but smile back. Despite everything she still was a nice person, I could still like her as a friend. "No problem, I owed you one anyway!"

I shut the window and headed out the locker room door, giving a nod to the kid who had been hiding his undressed self from me in the open shower room.

I returned to the host club a couple minutes later, giving Haruhi a conspiratory grin and rejoining The twin's table.

"Where have _you_ been?" Asked Haruna.

"Lady's room." I answered casually.


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry for the wait, you know... life. Anyway- I'm hoping to be able to update more frequently once summer hits... that feels a lot further away than it is. I mean, honestly, it's snowing outside. Geez nature.**

**Thanks for all the support, seriously you guys rock. - The highest possible praise you can get from a geoscience student**

* * *

The days at Ouran were becoming peaceful. Well, still over-the-top and elaborate of course but the brilliantly lit halls and ever falling cherry blossoms were beginning to disquiet my heart. The world was lacking the darkness I grew up with. In a place where the largest worry was how to waste time, I feared that if this mission took much longer my skills would become dull.

The world I belonged to seemed so distant beyond the immense courtyard gates. Even the Yazuka members on campus were an almost comical evil, the kind of watered down bad you'd expect in a kids movie. The kinds of people I've had to deal with, well, let's just say many of them are bad to the very marrow of the bone, having done things that I can't even tell you about as long as my story retains its k+ rating.

It was the end of the second week already with no conclusion in sight. The twins were identical. I didn't understand them one bit. If they wanted to be told apart they should just both just change their look. Covering up their hair, and standing in front of us with identical grins, what did they expect? It's not like someone's personality shows through if you purposely hide it. Then again Haruhi could always beat the game without fail so maybe there was just something I was missing- possibly something someone like me, who can't relate to other people, would never get I realized. I had never entertained the possibility that I might never pass my coming of age mission until that point, and the thought was kind of draining at my motivation.

We were in yet another game of 'which one is Hikaru' and, as always, Kozue and Haruna made their guesses and it was my turn. "I don't know." I said absentmindedly as I ran my finger down the handle of the tea cup.

They shrugged, "Aww." The said simultaneously, "That's no fun."

I felt a little bit of anger well up inside me, if only they realized that this wasn't just a game to me. When I looked at them I saw two final bosses. They were my enemy, obnoxiously standing in front of me and my goal. Honestly, I was probably just bitter that my family was all off in Germany on a very elaborate job. I should have been with them right now! As such, playing along with the school's antics were getting increasingly difficult as the day went on. Now it was so close to the end of the day, on a Friday no less, and the very last fibres of my patience were wearing thin, dangling by a thread.

Haruna looked at the twins shyly, "I bought new hair ribbons yesterday…" She blushed and looked at them expectantly. "They're part of your family's new line."

They inspected her hair, giving the type of trained responses you'd expect from a couple 'little devil type' hosts and I unconsciously began to tune them out, day dreaming about the narrow vents and security systems my mother was probably clearing as they spoke.

Before I could process it a hand brushed at my bangs and I grabbed it swiftly, with a sharp glare at the perpetrator. It was one of the twins and he looked completely caught off guard, well, so did everyone else at the table. I quickly let go and cleared my throat with a fist to my lips. "Um, very sorry about that. I was surprised and just…"

Kozue laughed nervously, "Don't worry we could see you weren't listening. Did you get enough sleep last night?"

"Y-yeah. I mean yeah that I'm tired." I stumbled.

Haruna shrugged, "Anyway, what we were saying was how pretty you could look if you grew out your hair." she explained.

"But I really like her hair." Said Kozue. "When I cut my hair to its current length I kind of wanted to try out a pixie cut but just didn't have the courage to cut it all off. Plus it looks very chic."

"It's more convenient this way." I said.

"Well you could at least pin your bangs out of your face." Haruna commented.

I tilted my head down, "Things like appearances. I don't really care either way…" I mumbled.

The two girls looked horrified as if I just told them I kicked puppies in my free time.

I looked behind them at a mirror on the far side of the room, more specifically I looked at my own reflection, at the girl in the yellow dress. Really I looked just like anyone else on the campus. I was slim, my subtle muscles hidden under the poufy yellow sleeves.

Still this body, it wasn't made for pampering, it was best if I only viewed it as a tool. Scars, blemishes, I wouldn't care what befell it. I ran a hand lightly over my forehead, brushing back the bangs that often covered one eye, something I did to have ready-to-go night vision at any time, an asset for someone who had to hop into air ducts on a regular and impromptu basis. Everything about me was proof I didn't belong with these people... yet if I couldn't complete my mission, was this where I would spend my next three to four years?

The twins watched me curiously, mirroring one and other as they tilted their heads. "Ohhh, is that so?" They didn't sound like they believed me,_ after all, how could a girl not care about those things, stars forbid!_ I didn't care either way. This was all one colossal waste of time, I wasn't going to make any progress today, not with the negative thoughts I was having.

"I don't know." I sighed, "What does it matter? Just go back to your host-y incest stuff or whatever."

"Is something wrong?" Asked Haruna in worry.

I cursed myself, it was completely unprofessional of me to be mopping right now. I sat upright and smiled, "Nope, I'm completely fine." This however only seemed to make them worry more. I was really bad at grifting, my character's personality was already set, it was too late to be tweaking it like this. I sighed, "I'm just not up for this today. Sorry." I rose and excused myself.

I leaned my back on the large double doors after they closed behind me and frowned, pulling out my cell phone. Of course there were no new messages, but I could always check. I didn't want to deal with the host club any longer today, I just wasn't in the mood. Though I also didn't feel like going back to the empty hotel room.

I settled on wandering, orienting myself through the vast building. There were a surprising many clubs in the school, as apparent by the number of occupied classrooms. They kind of paled next to the host club though.

Eventually, after quite some time, I found myself outside standing in the main courtyard affront the building. The huge clock tower indicated it had taken an entire hour to wander each of the halls. On one hand I was surprised, on the other I was disappointed I wasn't able to waste more time.

I walked over to the enormous central fountain and gave it a good look, somehow I was unable to see the bottom, only the mirrored image of myself in the stilled water. I sat on the edge and watched the way the clouds moved above my head in the reflection.

"Oh." Two unmistakably in-sync voices said at once. I swiped at the water, dissipating my reflection into a million little images. "Good afternoon." I responded coolly, folding my hands over my lap.

"I think we found our lost kitten." Said one of the two twins playfully they both leaned in very close, bending over with their hands in their pockets. I slide some of the length of the fountain's edge away.

One of them grinned, "Hey Hikaru, haven't you noticed? Our kitten is very shy." I made a point to remember that that one was Karou.

"Eh?" Said Hikaru lazily, "Come to think of it she always shies away doesn't she?"

Honestly I had no idea where any of this was going, although I knew that it couldn't be too bad seeing as I was simply one of their customers who was presumably paying for this type of service. Still, shivers ran up my spine at their devilish expressions.

"Ah, the uh, host club's over for the day is it?" I asked, hoping to remind them that they didn't actually _need_ to bother with me anymore.

Hikaru sat on one side of me stroking my cheek and I stiffened, "That's right Hime, you left early yet you're still around."

Kaoru dropped onto my other side, placing his forehead against mine, "Let me take your temperature…" I let out a really pathetic chirp and he leaned out, "Hmm, you seem perfectly fine? So why did you leave us?"

I REALLY should have just left the second I got out. Good God the things you learn in retrospect. They both stood back up in a flash, embracing one and other tenderly, "Hikaru…" Said Kaoru, looking down dejectedly, "I'm sorry we lost Mei's attention, It's my fault for not being interesting enough."

"Kaoru…" He said slowly, in quiet disbelief. Kaoru didn't look at him so he grabbed his chin and angled it towards him, forcing eye contact. Kaoru mewled in surprise. "Kaoru." He said again, "It's not your fault. That could never be the case. I hate it when you get this way." He held him closer, "If only you could see how special you are."

"Hikaru!" Kaoru gasped.

"Kaoru." Hikaru repeated.

I sighed, rubbing my suddenly aching temples. Their attention snapped back to me and they exchanged a look. "Thought soooo." They said in a blank monotone.

"Thought what?" I asked in surprise.

"You're not into any of this are you?" Asked Hikaru.

"What do you mean?" I asked, feigning dumbness.

"You aren't a fan of the two-in-one devil type twins." Hikaru pressed. "Why do you even bother with us?"

"I am a fan." I said stubbornly.

"Sure." They said, again not sounding at all convinced, a limo pulled up and they headed off. I had looked away at that assuming we were done. So I was surprised when one of them walked back to me.

"Mei-chan." He said.

I glanced at him in silent question. The deviousness in his expression was gone. "You know…" He started, "Haruna and Kozue are your friends now. I'm should they'd accept you even if you didn't like all the same things they do."

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

"You don't need to pretend to like the Host Club if you don't. It would make the king sad, the club was made to make people happy, not burden them." He explained with the ghost of a smile. "The pumpkin carriage you've conjured to keep you three together... This particular one, I wonder if it was necessary?"

I blinked in utter confusion.

"Karou!" The other twin called, already in the limo, "Are you coming?"

He looked up in surprise and then nodded at me in farewell before jogging to reunite with his twin. I was left staring blankly at where the car had driven away long after it was gone.

That was…. Out of character?

I sighed and resigned myself to stand back up. Apparently he assumed that I was only interested in them as a way to make friends. Although that wasn't the truth, it was surprisingly insightful.

Some of my enthusiasm was restored, I saw a new side to one of them today, proving they had more layers than the host personalities they showed their customers. So maybe they really were different. Maybe I could do this after all.


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry AGAIN for being a lazy good-for-nothing. Well, predominantly I write Harvest Moon fanfiction, so sometimes I get too wrapped up in those stories and neglect the others. It's been so long since I've looked at this story that I couldn't even understand my notes on how I planned everything out to go. I write my story maps too darn cryptically. Well I'll decipher what I can, re-write the rest. **

**It has been pointed out that I've made A LOT of errors in regards to facts from the anime so I'll try to explain them in a way that allows for what's happened in the story to be ok:**

**1\. The crinolines. As stated in the chapter after, No one in Ouran wears them but there is technically a crinoline/corset option. Mei just thought they were required. This was so that she'd learn to accept the help of others because the friends she made helped her learn all these things.**

**2\. I actually knew 10,000 yen wasn't that much. I looked up the Japanese equvalent of 100 US dollars. Since Mei looks down on people who frivolously throw down HUGE sums of money it didn't make sense for her own family to be too irresponsible.**

**3\. Although the twins were shown before to sit at the back of the class, they sit where Haruhi sits so I imagine being a good student she moved up to be closer to the lecture, (She has bad eyesight after all). The twins followed and them being them, no one complained about switching places. After All they would have had to switch once before to sit around Haruhi after they gained an interest in her so it isn't too far-fetched.**

**Phew, that should be about enough. Geez you people know your Ouran. **

* * *

"Do you _girls_ need anything? Anything at all? Snacks? Drinks?"

Haruhi sighed, "Dad. We're trying to study."

The man/?/woman smiled apologetically and made him/?/herself scarce. Well, for a moment anyway before poking their head back out.

"_Dad_." Haruhi repeated and he brought a hand to his mouth "Sorry, I'm just so proud to see you _girls _studying on the weekend."

"I always study on the weekend." Haruhi said dryly.

"Of course, of course, I know." He said.

The number of time he non-so-discreetly dropped the noun, "girls" would suggest it wasn't the studying he was so thrilled about. He probably didn't like the amount of time she spent with the boys I guess. He disappeared back behind the wall and Haruhi smiled apologetically. "Sorry, he's not usually like this."

"Not usually… a woman?" I asked watching where the beautiful man disappeared.

"No, no that's a thing. I meant that I thought this would be a quiet place to study." Haruhi explained.

"Don't worry 'bout it! It's still better than my place. We're still all crammed in that tiny hotel room until my mom finally selects a place she likes. This is a million times better." Not entirely true, I was neglecting to mention my little apartment was dead silent and empty while my mother was still out in Germany.

It was weird. It was _too _silent. Though I'd never admit I was lonely or that I was having difficulty being on my own. Hopefully their mission would be done soon.

I really needed to see them. Any of them, even my aunt or cousins would do. After all, they were all I had. If something went wrong on the heist… I shivered. For some reason dangerous work was so much scarier when you weren't part of it.

I felt restless, I needed to _do_ stuff. I needed to _be_ places. Even if that was Haruhi's apartment doing homework.

"Though knowing you rich people, I'm sure your hotel room is larger than the whole row of these apartments." Haruhi said.

"You'd be surprised… anyway… so is crossdressing like, a thing in your family?"

"It suppose so." Haruhi shrugged.

"Ah, okay."

"I'm used to it but, you're not finding it weird are you?"

"Nah, it's not weird."

It was weird.

"That's good. Things like acting according to a gender, or being recognized as one, I don't really think it's that important I guess." She smiled.

I nodded.

There was a chime and I looked up from the notes for a moment before losing interest.

Half a second later the doorbell chimed again… and again and again and again. Haruhi's pencil snapped and I could literally see a vein pop from her forehead.

It wasn't difficult to guess who it was at the entrance.

Her dad answered with a flurry of shouts, the house felt like it was shaking in whatever chaos was occurring at the front door.

For a moment there was silence and I watched the girl across from me, continuing to write with ticked-off anticipation.

Then,

"HAAARRUUUHIIIIII!" A blond blur glomped onto her.

"Senpai. Let go." She said calmly.

The prince, looking anything but princely at this moment did not take the rejection well. The despair on his face was apparent.

Other hosts filed into the small room.

"Hm?" A surprised noise caught my attention. I looked up to see one of the twins staring at me speechlessly. He knocked his brother in the ribs to get his attention who, with an identical expression nudged Hunny who tugged at his cousin's coat who took one blank look at me before tapping the shoulder of the Ice King.

The cool raven regarded me with some interest, flashing his glasses as he adjusted them. "Ueda-san. This certainly is a surprise."

Before I could respond the prince slowly turned his head in horror. His jaw dropped. "H-H-HIME!" He screeched. I was whisked up from my kneeling spot at the low table and I swear roses blinded my vision. "Keep your eyes on me." He said seductively.

I stared at him in confusion.

A moment later, Still not letting go off me he turned his head to Haruhi urgently tilting his head in the universal signal of, 'now's the part where you escape before she finds out.'

"Senpai, she knows." Haruhi said blandly.

I pushed him away from me.

"WHAAAAAA?!" He burst. "YOU MEAN SHE FOUND OUT THAT YOU DRESS AS A GIRL AT HOME?" He quickly covered with a not at all discreet and desperate 'play along' wink to the brunette.

"She found out I'm a girl." She said utterly ignoring it.

He nearly fainted. No wait, not to waste a chance at dramatics, he did faint.

Then he revived, his eyes snapping open. "Actually… THIS IS PERFECT!"

He glomped back onto Haruhi, "Haruhiiiiii, daddy's so happy you found a female friend!" He sang rubbing his cheek against her affectionately. She looked like she was having none of it. "Now my darling child can spend more time away from these brutish wolves and embrace the path of femininity!" He stood back up spreading his arms wide with his grand declaration. He babbled on about some vision of the two of us experimenting with make-up and going on cake-dates and we rightfully tuned him out. Soon he was lost in his own fantasy world anyway.

I frowned. "Haruhi? How do you answer question 10?"

She flipped back a page in her work. "Ah, there's a trick to it. If you divide everything by x, that immediately becomes a quotient and you can use l'hospital's rule."

The blond boy fell to his knees in despair at the realization that we weren't listening. He crawled to a corner and huddled up in his gloom.

"Senpai!" Haruhi snapped, finally paying him attention, "Don't cultivate mushrooms in my living room." I blinked. Where did those come from?

Kyouya stepped forward, "Still, I do believe I've underestimated your intelligence." He told me. "For you to have figured out our Haruhi was female."

Deciding to rub salt into the blond's wounds the twins grinned, "Well, you'd have to be pretty _stupid_ to not figure it out." One said looking back at Tamaki. His words appeared to stab into him, more mushrooms grew.

"Yeah," The other one quipped, "_All of us hosts figured it out pretty fast."_

"No, you're wrong Karou," Said who I could presume now was Hikaru.

Karou put a finger to his lips in confused thought. "OH! You're right! One of us didn't until he walked in on her changing."

"And he believes he's the closest to our classmate, yet he couldn't even tell..." Hikaru shook his head.

I stared at them realizing that was how I figured it out too. I looked over to the depressed blonde guy and shuddered. I was… as dense as that guy? Even the twins had figured it out. Then I remembered, they always did score higher in the tests.

I paled.

I was dumber than the twins.

_The twins._

I looked forlornly at their idiot smirks and felt my soul crush.

"What's wrong Mei-chan?" Asked Hunny.

"I…" I said through dry lips, I couldn't. I got up slowly and joined the prince.

"Hey." I said numbly poking at one of his mushrooms.

"Hey." He said with the same hollowed look I no doubt had.

"Now they're both cultivating mushrooms." I vaguely registered one twin say in surprise.

"Ah." Haruhi said regretfully. "She didn't necessary _figure_ it out so much as _found_ out."

The two burst out into laughter and I glared back at them.

"You two be quiet!" Haruhi snapped.

She dragged them both by the collar, ushering the other hosts along and kicked them all out the front door. "Now you all go cause trouble somewhere else! Mei-san and I already have study plans!"

She paused noticing a flyer and the ground and picked it up.

Her face shone and she looked up at us. "There's going to be a sale on fancy tuna." She said gleefully forgetting her annoyance.

I gawked for a moment at the sudden charm of her earnest expression and then shook out of it, looking back to the hosts.

Tamaki was speechless. Something I sincerely doubted happened very often. The look on his face… I wondered if maybe he was in love with her?

Unconsciously I let my gaze wander over to my targets and was surprised to see… they were looking at her in the exact same way.

I think I just learned something HUGE.

She joined me back inside the house. "I'll have to go to the supermarket later." She said cheerfully before slamming the door shut heartlessly between us and the love-sick boys.

"…Uh huh." I said.

"But first let's finish the chapter." She smiled, tilting her head.

We studied hard another hour but it was only natural my brain eventually fried out. So I found myself heading back once again to the seedy part of town and that dirty and empty couple rooms I was to call home for now.

As someone who grew up in the darkness, couldn't help but note all the shady dealings going down on my walk home. A couple men with bandannas hidden under their sleeves went down a side-street into an alley. Up to no good I was sure.

A couple eyes followed an unguarded man who clearly didn't belong in this part of the city. Those types are easy targets.

No one was scoping out me. No one ever did.

It seems this crowd accurately determined that I belonged in their midst. How they could tell, I wasn't sure. Then again, as much as I didn't believe in that 'aura' hippy nonsense, people like us have a certain _air. _Like you can pass someone on the street who's smaller than you and weaker looking, giving no indication of violent tendencies but you still give them space because an alarm bell in your mind is telling you, _somehow, this person is dangerous_.

I pulled out my key and jiggled it in the faulty lock of our apartment.

The door finally squeaked open. I was surprised to see the area more empty than I had left it. I stepped in cautiously eyeing around for something to use as a makeshift weapon, should the situation warrant the need for such a thing.

I did a quick check of the house, finding it to be empty. Of both people and belongings.

I could feel the anger well up within me. _Someone_ had a lot of nerve stealing from ME of all people. It was then that I noticed a piece of paper on the kitchen table. Something which SHOULD have been the first thing I saw when I walked in.

I scratched my nose in embarrassment, this was not helping me recover from those psychological blows I received earlier and I found myself questioning my intellect for the second time that day.

I picked up the note and read it slowly.

_Huh…._

* * *

The street I was on was long and isolated, the type you might confuse for a country road. There wasn't any cars or people or really, any building in sight either, there also wasn't any sidewalks but I supposed the types of people that lived in the area did not really "walk" places.

I was in fact, not in the country. A large black limo rolled by and I discreetly turned my head aside to hide my face. As soon as it was out of sight I swiftly pulled back out the little paper that had been waiting for me in the room along with a set of keys.

I re-read it.

_Meeeiiiii!_

_Miss you tonnes and tonnes sweetie!_

_Everything in Germany is still going peachie but I wish you were here~!_

_Anyway, I've finally secured a temporary home and address so you can start moving out of that dump immediately. In fact I've already had all of your stuff transferred, all the house is missing now is you!_

_Head over to the following address:_

The address written was encrypted but I was pretty sure I had cracked it.

I finally gave pause, coming across a sign leading into a long drive way. 13 Sakura Way. It should be the place. I hoped. I really wasn't in the mood to worm my way out of a breaking and entering. However, my mother just loved to put people into those situations with secret messages that can be translated multiple ways. It was her messed up version of a prank.

She did this to uncle Tony once and had him walking straight into the main headquarters of the country's most vicious gang. Apparently the "1"s in her message were to be interpreted as l's not i's and whichever you chose would have taken you to two different locations.

He lost a finger because of that prank but we all admitted it was pretty dang funny. Except Uncle Tony for some reason, who was always a bit of a spoil sport.

I digress.

So anyway, there I was carefully making my way to the house that was undoubtedly somewhere on the other side of the long driveway.

Of course, I didn't walk up the actual driveway just in case I really was breaking into some unpleasant person's house. I stuck near the trees, for cover and in case of dogs but ultimately my caution was unwarranted.

The yard was empty. No cameras. No dogs. No people.

I soon found the huge mansion to be the same. A note was found in the very last place I checked, in the vents of the third floor.

I sighed. Another one of mother's 'pranks'. She knew the order I'd scope things out so she put it in the last place I'd look so I'd have to search for hours first.

_Welcome to your new home Mei!_

_(and congratulations on deciphering the earlier note correctly. You would not have been received well at the other place. LOL.)_

I looked around the enormous house, a huge labyrinth of high ceilinged halls and rooms with a dinner table that could seat forty and a kitchen designed for a whole staff of cooks,

In some ways…. I missed the apartment.

**Thank you all for those comments last time, they were so sweet. Y'all are great.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey it's been a while. I'd give a long lengthy excuse but... Instead I'll just say sorry. You know when you don't write something for a while and then you just get out of it and can't get back in? I'm sure a lot of you can relate. Shout out to Lootmagoot for reminding me about this - sometimes I just need a like push. Somehow I've gotten past the writer's block barrier and am hoping I can pick up momentum from here.**

* * *

It felt good to be back in my own clothes. Not that rubber ducky-yellow Mary Poppin's atrocity. I mean my _real _clothes. I let my fingers run over the brushed cotton hood of my leather jacket appreciatively before I pulled it down. Unlike the _tap-shoes_ we wore with our uniforms, my stealth boots made no noise as I stalked purposely into the mall, running a hand through my hair to smooth out my bangs. Being mid-day Saturday, the place was packed and I supressed a sigh.

My eyes scanned through the crowds of people for a directory as I effortlessly weaved around couples and families. All I needed was a bag of Doritos or maybe some chocolate bars. The new house was disappointingly lacking in the snacks department and I was craving _something_ full of empty calories and artificial chemical flavouring. Bonus points if it was carcinogenic. My motto, "If it ain't tryin' to kill you, it 'ain't worth your time."

It seemed my mother had done too good a job at making the house look authentic, the cupboards were stalked up to almost overfilling with ingredients that a top notch chef would make up to high class desserts. Except we didn't have a chef.

That left me to have to cook my own meals… maybe I'd get some cup noodles while I was here.

"Mei?" A voice asked in disbelief.

Of course, my first instinct at that was to walk faster. People recognizing me was more often a bad thing than a good thing.

"Hey Mei!" The voice said again.

I kept going. Having heard the voice a second time, I realized that I recognized it. I wanted nothing to do with its owner.

I made it half way across the mall when I stopped at a different directory.

I should have realized it would take more than that to shake him. A hand dropped down on my shoulder and I cringed. "It really is you Mei. Honestly, you should have stopped. You almost make me think you're not happy to see me."

I turn to my stalker. "Dominic."

The boy hadn't changed much in the year I had been blessed to not have to see him. He still had his hair in that dumb undercut with a side-part sharp and straight enough to land a plane. He probably used more gel and mousse in his hair than a 50s gangster. If you thought the hosts were vain, you never met Dominic.

He sent me that sly smile which I'm sure he didn't have a fraction of a doubt was cutting through my heart to make me weak at the knees. It wasn't.

"What are you doing in Japan?" I asked.

"What? A guy can't take a little vacation to his favourite lady's homeland?" He asked. His carefree smile never left. I hated that smile. Some things to know about Dominic: 1. He just showed up one day and integrated himself into one of our Hikage-family jobs, I have no idea where he's from or even what his last name is. 2. I'm not even sure Dominic is his real name. 3. He's at best plain-looking as heck yet with his cocky side grin and dangerous aura, he could probably pick up any girl he wanted in this mall, and he knows it. (I of course, not included. Something he doesn't seem to get) 4. He is obsessed with becoming part of the family, as most cons can only dream of, and seems to think I'm his in.

I rose an eyebrow in skepticism at his remark. "And part of your itinerary is this little department store?"

He shook his head and waved my question off. "You ask too many questions. It's my turn." He grinned and leaned against the sign. "How you been babe? You haven't answered any of my texts." He said.

"I dropped that phone in the Dead Sea." I said flatly.

"Sounds like a story." He said.

"Yeah, but not one you'll hear." I dismissed. I tried to walk away right then and there. Leave him standing forlorn in the crowd but he of course expected that sort of response and grabbed my wrist before I could even take a step. I stared at his hand as if it were infected hoping he'd get the hint to drop it.

"So you on a job now?" He asked.

"Yeah." I said taking matters into my own hands to tear my arm from his grasp.

"Aw sweet." He rubbed his hands together. "So who else is here? Your mother? Uncles?" He looked around almost eagerly, "It's been awhile since I've seen them work."

"And it'll be awhile longer, it's just me this time." I said.

He looked back at me raising an impressed eyebrow, "Oh, a solo job. Would you look at you?"

I felt like a child being praised for going out on her first errand. Which was frustrating enough when it came from my own family, but now _him,_ who was my own age? I wanted so badly to throw him over the railing into the fountain below on the shopping centre's first floor.

"I could give you a hand you know?" He said.

"No." I responded immediately.

"Come on, It'll be like old times." He insisted, once again grabbing me to keep me in place.

"No." I repeated.

"Pleeeaassee." He bat his eyelashes.

"She said no." Said another voice.

We both wheeled around to the intruder and I gawked. "Y-you." I said. Which was all I could say. It was one of the twins. Which, the most noteworthy detail here would be the 'one' part.

The twin rubbed the back of his head and smiled in fake exasperation, "Geez, I told you we'd meet at the sign on the _first _floor, not the second. I'd been waiting."

A mischievous glint flashed through his eyes and I flinched. I'd seen that look in their eyes before, I knew what usually came after. He walked around me slowly and snaked his arms around my waist while propping his chin up on my shoulder to purposely face an astonished Dominic. I couldn't see his expression in this position but I could hear the '_utter dismay and hurt'_ in his voice which raised an octave. "But you were up here with another guy! Did you get bored with me already?" He asked in a soft and sad voice. This part of his act was weak, he was reverting back to his host club role of being the 'girl'. So it was Karou, probably.

He stepped away and I swear I could see a perfect tear drop form from his perfectly black lashes and slide down his cheek.

For a moment Dominic and I were disgustingly in synch, the looks on our faces incorrigible.

Ordinarily this wouldn't get any guy to back down, but all I had to do was give Dominic a pointed look before mouthing 'target' for him to know to leave me be. "Oh." He said taking a step back, understanding washing over his expression. "I didn't realize you already had a boyfriend. I uh, I gotta go."

Karou let go triumphantly and in the moment he looked away the other dark haired boy winked at me before heading off. Hopefully I wouldn't run into him again.

"Thanks." I said honestly. "That guy's a total pain."

"You know him?" Asked the twin.

"Yeah. Unfortunately. I guess you can say he's one of the closest things I got to a child-hood friend." I scowled.

"I think he likes you." He said.

"Nah, he's just after me 'cause of the family name you know?" I said.

He nodded. Of course he and the students of Ouran of all people would know.

I cleared my throat, "Where's your other half?" I asked.

Just then he seemed to remember something. He looked around desperately eyes wide before apparently finding something because then, a second later, he dived, pushing me to hide with him behind the directory.

"What the-" I started but he covered my mouth pointing at the hall beside us. Haruhi and the other twin walked by us, thankfully not noticing us huddled on the floor against the sign. This was a sucky hiding spot at best.

I tried to understand the situation… but failed. "OK, I give. What's going on here?" I asked after he finally withdrew his hand. People were staring at us as they passed.

He shook his head. "I'll explain later!" He said quickly before I watched him duck and run away into the crowd in pursuit of the other two hosts.

This was intriguing behavior. Snacks forgotten, I decided to follow, at a similar pace but _much_ more subtly.

I caught him a little ahead, this time taking partial coverage behind an artificial tree, somehow having gotten sunglasses and a baseball cap between the two locations. That I supposed I could almost admit was an impressive feat. If it didn't make him stand out like a sore thumb that is.

His 'targets' were shopping in the adjacent store with their backs turned.

Knowing it was safe, I marched over and tugged on him shoulder. He jumped in alarm. "Mei?" He yelped.

"What the heck are you doing?" I asked.

"Overseeing." He said, eyes flicking between the store and me, nervous of getting caught. He unconsciously pushed his sunglasses up and ducked his head.

"Spying?" I corrected. "What are they doing in there anyway?"

Forgetting his anxiety for a moment, he grinned at me and winked, "I set them up on a date."

I could only stare. If anything I felt more confused. Didn't _he_ like her too?

He frowned, "Of course, they don't know it's a date so don't tell them."

"So are you hiding from your brother or a certain blonde prince with some weird Freudian-style daughter complex who's gonna kill you and him both?" I asked.

He smiled sheepishly. "Both."

I sighed, pretending to be annoyed. I was actually kind of into it though, playing spy sounded infinitely more entertaining than sitting alone with a bag of chips in an empty house. Plus who knew when I'd ever get to observe both my targets' isolated behaviorisms again?

"Well you're gonna get caught like this." I said, shaking my head as I tapped a plastic leaf. "I used to play these sorts of games with my cousins all the time. Let a pro show you how its done."

* * *

**Next time on Seeing Double: Things are about to get allllll sorts of wacky**


	9. Chapter 9

"So first off. Ditch the sunglasses. I mean, my God – could you please _try_ to look more suspicious?" I asked sarcastically.

He nodded, "Right." He said, removing the pair and jamming them into his pocket.

I guided him to the bench facing the store or the other side of the hall, which conveniently had us facing the opposite direction of the reluctant couple. "Relax a little." I instructed, "and stop looking back." I flicked out a hand mirror to pretend to be fiddling with my bangs. In actuality I had it pointed to the pair of hosts checking out the discount rack.

"Oh." The twin said suddenly, as he seemed to remember something.

"What?" I asked, a little startled.

"Just… I'm Kaoru by the way." He said.

In an odd moment of playfulness I my eyes narrowed slyly and I held out my hand for him to shake, which by instinct, he did. "Mei, nice to meet you."

"That's not what I-" He began to protest but I just waved his explanation off.

"Naw, I know. Just, I had already gathered as much." I said as I wiped away at an imaginary eyelash in my reflection, attention back on mirror surveillance.

"How?" He asked questioningly.

"Your performance earlier." Was all I had to say and he nodded in understanding.

"So why exactly are we stalking them anyway?" I asked, a question that ordinarily would have been addressed much sooner.

He frowned and leaned back into the bench, "It's hard to explain." Was all he said, crossing one slim leg over the other, looking oddly regal for the locality. None of the hosts would ever be able to get into surveillance work, his very essence was emanating 'prince on a white horse' even with the goofy souvenir baseball cap from his disguise.

"So you don't know." I said. It wasn't a question and from the look on his face I had hit the nail right on the head.

"You got me. What can I say to that?" He asked, as he lounged his head back.

"Ok then, so 'why'd you decide to set them up?' Would be the next best place to start." I said.

"It's a long story." He said.

"Is it?" I asked.

"Not really." He admitted, giving me a sideways glance with his almost fox-like eyes.

Well, to be fair, he had no reason to tell me anything. It's not like we were friends, and I had just sort of invited myself on this stake out.

"He looks kinda miserable." I noted. Haruhi was looking at writing implements. The other twin was standing a little further behind with his hands in his pockets looking like he'd much rather be somewhere else.

I had had the mirror out too long now to look natural so I put it back away and took out my phone instead, scooting closer to Kaoru. "What are you doin-" He started to ask as I began to angle us for a selfie.

"Letting you see too." I explained in case his silence hadn't meant that he figured it out.

Kaoru sighed as he watched his brother's behavior before smiling grimly as I took the picture. I examined it for a moment before deleting it. "He's just worried about me." He explained.

"How so?" I asked.

"This is the third time I set them up, and every time I have to pretend to be sick." He said. "It's the only way he'd go without me."

I'd have said something about finding a better cover story but our targets were on the move. I motioned to him for us to follow a little behind. "Won't he recognize me without the glasses?" Kaoru asked.

"You honestly think he couldn't recognize you _with_ the glasses?" I replied. "You're twins. It would take a Hollywood makeover for him not to see you for you. We'll just stay out of their line of sight."

He nodded and we followed the pair through the crowds. Though soon we reached a more open area and the crowds quickly fanned out. The sight of Hikaru and Haruhi was now completely unfettered. Meaning of course that we were out in the open.

"Shoot." I muttered under my breath and tried to move to better cover, but Kaoru was rooted in place. I looked back to him in annoyance but froze as well. The look on his face… it looked lonely. "Uh.. you okay?" I finally asked but he seemed lost in thought, mouth slighty open with a dreamy expression, his eyes transfixed on their retreating forms up ahead.

It was then that I saw from the corner of my eye, the pair beginning to turn back around. Our cover was about to be blown. I yanked him quickly, pulling him to a little side hallway with the maintenance rooms. He seemed to snap out of it when I slammed him against the wall, a hand on either of his shoulders.

"What were you thinking?" I asked.

"Sorry – I just-" He started.

I shook my head that wasn't what I meant, I wasn't trying to scold him. I let go of him and took a step back "No." I said, then softer, "What were you thinking?" I asked. I, for a moment, genuinely wanted to know what was hurting him.

He shook his head and smiled, "It's nothing, thank you for your concern. Hime."

_Hime_. Something that would ordinarily sound like a name of endearance, but that wasn't what it was. Whether he was intending it or not, it was a reminder to know my place. He was a host. I was a customer.

I wondered if I hadn't made a mistake taking the easy route and going to that club. Was my mission failed the moment I walked into that rose scented music room? I sighed, resigning myself to give up for the day. "We should stop." I said, since that's what I knew he needed to do.

"Stop?" He asked in surprise.

"I don't know why we're following them, but if I've come to learn anything from all this, it's that nothing good will come of it." I said.

He stayed quiet for a little while, gazing downwards as he seemed to think. I backed up to lean against the other wall, looking down as well. "It's just not anyone's day today is it?" I asked quietly, sliding down the wall until I was sitting. He watched me quietly before doing the same.

"Yeah." He agreed.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" I suddenly asked. "You…" I played with the edge of my hood. "You like Haruhi too don't you?"

At this he looked surprised.

"That's not it?" I asked.

"Who knows." He said.

I watched him carefully, so I was wrong? Then what was bothering him?

"I 'coulda sworn you, your brother and the prince were into her the way you all looked at her the other day." I said.

"You noticed?" He blushed.

I laughed bitterly, "Believe me I won't judge. I totally fell for her too when I thought she was a dude."

…

….

….

"HOLY MEDIUM-RARE COW." I exclaimed suddenly standing back up, before pacing in a couple quick circles. I had forgotten since he was acting so normal that he was one of the two Hitachin brothers. The twin devils of the first year. WHY DID I JUST TELL HIM THAT? He and his brother were going to tease to an early grave and then haunt me in the land of fire with their little pitch forks.

"What?" He exclaimed.

"I can't believe I told you that." I muttered, "I can't believe I told YOU that." I said. I had to think quickly, what dirt did I have on him to keep him quiet? I needed to ensure mutually assured destruction: let him know if I was going down, so was he.

As I wracked my brain, he stood up. "Mei." He said.

I bit the back of my finger, his own crush on Haruhi would hardly affect him- it would just be more drama to entice fan girls into the host club - random pairings amongst the hosts were speculated all the time anyway so it wouldn't hold much water. There was Haruhi's secret but we both knew I wouldn't reveal Haruhi as a girl to get at him.

"Mei." He said again and I looked at him. "It can be our secret." He said.

I stopped mid step. "You won't tell your brother?" I asked.

"No." He said.

"I didn't know you guys kept secrets from each other." I said skeptically.

"We don't." He said.

I held his gaze for a moment. "…Thanks." I said.

He nodded before saying, "You were right."

"Right about what?" I asked.

"I shouldn't follow them."

"Good." I said, shooting him my first awkward smile. "That's good."

"Ahhh." He sighed cradling the back of his head lazily as he began to stroll out of the side hall back into the mall's main corridor. "Now I've got the rest of the day with nothing to do." A twinge of his devilish side was returning, I could see it in his eye as he glanced back at me "So what were you dong in a commoner mall anyway?"

* * *

We unloaded our booty onto one of the public tables. A waterfall of brightly wrapped delicacies poured over the surface. I was sure we were subject to some disapproving stares but oddly enough, I didn't seem to care. We were in the main food court, lucky to have found a relatively quiet and cozy booth. The floors had recently been mopped it seemed, a wet floor sign was left just a little ways away from our spot. Which might have been an oddly specific detail to mention and ordinarily I'd have paid it no mind but it was odd - it was if there was a flashing arrow directing my attention to it. As if the world was trying to tell me something was about to go down. Or maybe I just had a brain tumor.

"Are you sure about these?" He asked skeptically, and I forced myself to tear my attention from the wet floor and and back to our stash.

"Not at all." I admitted, "I'm still a new returnee to Japan, I haven't heard of half of this junk."

I pulled out a small snack sized bag of Doritos and opened it, plucking out a single chip to savor. "But these are always good.." I said blissfully before handing him the bag.

He tried one and his eyes widened, "Not bad." He noted.

We tried a lot of different things, from weird Japanese gummi candies too off-brand chocolates. Some things were unexpectedly good, some things were complete trash.

He took a bite out of a wannabe éclair before pausing.

"That one bad?" I asked.

"No." He said.

"Then what's up?" I asked rifting through the remaining packages.

"Do you know the story of the princess with the glass slipper?" He suddenly asked.

I stopped my digging to look up at him. "Cinderella?" I questioned in confusion.

He nodded silently.

"What about it?" I asked carefully.

"I always thought it made an interesting metaphor, a carriage that turns to a pumpkin past midnight." He said.

My brow creased, this all sounded a little familiar. Wasn't he saying something about a pumpkin carriage awhile back too? Is this what he meant?

He, at this point, had a penchant for vague answers, so I trend carefully. "Metaphor for what?" I asked.

"All sort of things." He said, resting his cheek in his palm with a faraway expression, catching the eye of some girls walking by who blushed. I never realized just how conspicuous attractive people were. I leaned back uncomfortably, raising my hood. The arrow was still flashing above the wet floor sign but they past it easy enough without anything traumatic happening. Maybe it really was all my imagination.

"The host club, for one." He noted.

"The host club?" I asked, not following at all – but even if he was going to elaborate this time, he wasn't given the chance.

His eyes widened. "They're here." He hissed.

"Haruhi and Hikaru?" I asked urgently and he nodded. Quickly, I swiped a load of our trash into one of the plastic shopping bags and handed it to him. "Go throw his out, it'll give you some distance. The trash can is about 20 metres away in the other direction"

He did as he was told, sliding out of the booth with his head slightly ducked until he turned to walk in the opposite direction and I bit my lip, they probably wouldn't notice him.

Haruhi and Hikaru walked right by my table and I watched them go.

Suddenly her foot slid on the wet floor and she fell back. Hikaru moved immediately to catch her, but took a quick step to do so and slid as well. The result was a rather compromising position that I didn't think people could truly get into outside of the movies.

He was sprawled out on top of her. One hand stabilizing himself on the floor next to her shoulder. She retained her usual neutral expression, taking the whole predicament in stride, but Hikaru, not so much. He looked down at her in shock, a light dappling of red crossing his cheeks. He stared into her eyes for a moment and Haruhi, bless her little oblivious heart, finally spoke up, "Hikaru. You're going to have to move if we want to get up."

He jolted up, before looking away and stubbornly offering his hand to her. She took it and they began off again. Kaoru returned to the table. "You know," I started to say, glancing both ways before leaning in, "It sounds weird but I totally called this happening, there was this flashing arrow and-" I shut up immediately as we both seemed to sense a dark aura trickling over from the booth behind me, causing us both to fall into a nervous cold sweat.

Our heads turned.

At the other table was something I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed before. I could see the top of a blond head hidden behind a propped up newspaper. The back paper was a full sheet advertisement for a real estates agent. His eyes were cut out though to provide two peeping holes. I honestly wasn't sure if was to be took as a serious disguise or a joke but I was getting second hand embarrassment by the number of confused onlookers the man was attracting. His knuckles were white as he crunched the paper revealing a distraught Tamaki in a trench coat with fake glasses.

The Ootori fellow sat across from him reading a book and looking entirely disinterested.

"Hiiiikkarrruuuu." The blond said darkly, raising a shaking fist. "Defiling my daughter in plain daylight with his crumby hands."

"It was just an accident." The raven haired boy chipped in calmly.

As if a switch was flipped, suddenly the prince wasn't angry and was now simply in despair. "But mommy!" He cried leaning over the table, "That scoundrel touched our daughter! I – I-!" He fell to his knees out of the booth and into the hall with a shocked expression.

"I-is he okay?" I asked, starting to stand.

Kaoru beckoned me back down. "It no use, The idiot prince is lost in what some call 'Tamaki theatre' He'll snap back soon."

True to Kaoru's words, the prince jumped back up in tearful anger. "How dare that shady twin A! To use such a deplorable tactic to force my daughter's hand - and Haruhi would never put pink flamingos in their garden!" With that he ran off in a cloud of smoke.

"Fl-flamigos?" I asked.

"His fantasies get a little out of hand." Kaoru explained.

"So you two hiding out there." A voice intruded, we both froze.

Kyoya Ootari looking entirely unfazed continued reading his book, but was clearly addressing us even though all we could see was the back of his head. "I'm sure this whole mess was started by you." He said, pausing to flip a page. "I suggest you stop 'Daddy's' rampage before he causes any damage that will cost the club money" At 'money' he turned to us and his glasses glinted, and for the first time in years I remembered what it felt like to feel real genuine dread.

"Go." Was all he had to say for us to shoot up, sprinting in pursuit of the frantic prince.

* * *

**Okay wait, no, I was wrong. NEXT chapter chaos may or may not ensue. Who knows, I'm totally deviating from my plan here. Wow, I always thought that arrow thing was funny in the anime but it's really hard to write in. Sorry if it was confusing, I tried... I was going to take it out but it was the only gag I used from the anime in this chappie so I decided to keep it in.**


	10. Chapter 10

We full out ran through the mall, Tamaki had torn ahead at inhuman speeds but luckily he left a cloud of dust in his wake as he rampaged. At this point I was just taking the whole situation as is. If I tried to place common logic into the actions and abilities of the hosts every time they did something that supposedly defied the very laws of physics, my brain would have long since fried out. Honestly, I think the king could jump off a skyscraper and land without a scratch and I still wouldn't be surprised. Either way my mind was still on another _much more terrifying_ host.

"What is with that guy?!" I asked Kaoru, hopping a bench in my way. "He's secretly a vampire right? I felt my blood drain just looking at him!"

"Worse" the twin replied fearfully, side stepping an elderly couple. "He's Ootori Kyoya"

"He's his own entity huh?" I said.

"More or less." He shrugged his shoulders.

"How exactly are girls into that?" I asked in skeptic disbelief.

"He's handsome." Karou simply said, as if it should have been obvious.

"Ah yes of course." I said sarcastically.

We stopped. The dust cloud had disappeared and we had no idea now where the king went.

"HIKARUUUU! WHERE ARE YOU?!" A very distinctive and outraged voice shouted.

We exchanged a look, it was coming from the lower floor. The two of us ran to the closest overlook and looked down over the railing. Sure enough, the top of a blond head could be seen in amongst the crowds on the level below. His run had not seemed to tire him out any and he looked no less furious.

"He's already downstairs!" I exclaimed.

It was lucky that we were next to the escalator, but the steps were packed with foot traffic and a line was beginning to build as the ride's speed did not match the demand. I bit my lip in calculation, by the time we got down there we'd lose him again. Kaoru obviously made the same assessment because he instead gripped the rail and leaned forward. "Senpai!" He called. "Calm down!"

Tamaki wasn't listening.

I eyed the metal median that separated the handrails of the up and down escalator and grinned, I had always wanted to try this. I clapped Karou's shoulder. "I'll go on ahead, try to catch up when you can."

"What?" He asked, but I was already sprinting off. Surprising the passengers, I hopped up onto the smooth metal. It seemed like an easy ride down, nothing obstructing my path.

I ducked and slid down the balustrade, dragging my left hand behind me for balance. Reaching the bottom in good time, I jumped off, somersaulting to keep my momentum as I continued straight for where I saw the blond host.

I stopped in horror when I saw him running in my direction though. In two seconds he would be straight past me, I had to think fast. Realizing that in his rampage, I wouldn't be able to stop him just by telling him to stop, I had to consider other options.

As dramatic as I could I pretended to twist my ankle and fell to the floor. Souh Tamaki NEVER misses the chance to play the shoujo male lead/ prince on a white stead. "Ah my ankle. I can't walk." I said.

….

He flew right past me, he must not have noticed.

"Miss, are you okay?" The nearby storekeeper walked over with a worried expression.

"Uh yeah." I said blandly. "I tripped. I'm good." I stood up and shift my weight in embarrassment. "Uh. Ok then. Bye." With that I turned in pursuit of the host.

He was weaving around people up ahead. Luckily I had seen the directory for this mall and I never forget a schematic. The mall's first level floor plan was that of a five petal flower. He was heading off from our area closer to the center into a secondary wing that would be one of its 'petals'. The only possible route for him to take was a right, a right and a right which would turn him right around. I could intercept him at the next corner.

Satisfied with my plan I nodded to myself and booked it down the hall, I cringed though as I ran into something hard.

"Oi, missy, you'd best be looking where you're going."

Three tall hoodlums looked down at me disapprovingly. The one I ran into backed me into the wall and placed an arm on either side to prevent my escape.

"Know how to apologize nicely?" He asked.

In the corner of my eye I saw Tamaki once and running towards us, having finally caught up.

I held in my sly grin, _damsel in distress take 2._

"Please." I begged him fearfully shooting my best doe eyes. "I didn't mean-"

Again Tamiki ran right past us.

I stood with a completely deadpan expression for a moment. This was even more futile than trying to stop a tornado.

"Sorry." I said rather ingenuinly and a moment later gave him a swift punch to the stomach. The guy recoiled in pain and I broke free.

By this point I had lost the host again.

"Wonderful." I muttered under my breath.

"Mei!" An out of breath Kaoru stopped beside me.

"It's hopeless." I told him. "He won't stop until he finds them, he doesn't seem to notice anything else around him. At least he doesn't seem to be causing any damage. As long as he doesn't find Hikaru and Haruhi it should be fine and the Shadow King won't have anything to complain about."

"But he's scouring the whole place up and down. It's only a matter of time." He said. He gripped my shoulders. "We _can't_ let him find them! It was hard enough getting Hikaru to go out and he needs this!"

"Mei-san? Kaoru?" A voice asked. We both froze.

We turned to face none other than Haruhi and Hikaru themselves. In our chase, we had forgotten our original goal of keeping an eye out for the pair.

Hikaru's eyes sparkled. "Kaoru." His brother's name rolled off his tongue.

"Hikaru" Karou said with his sugar sweet voice.

The brothers embraced.

"Idiot, what are you doing here? You were running a temperature of 70, you should be resting." Hikaru chid.

"70?!" Haruhi asked.

I coughed, at that temperature he sure would be resting… in a morgue.

Over his brother's shoulder Karou stuck out his tongue as if saying 'oopsy daisy.'

I shook my head.

"It's fine." Kaoru said, "I felt better so I came to join you, then I ran into Mei."

They still hadn't let go of one and other. Groups of girls were beginning to stop and spectate, as was likely often the case whenever you got the host club out together in public.

"Ah!" Haruhi suddenly said in surprise, frantically patting herself down.

"What is it?" I asked.

"My coupon book!" She said in horror, "I left it with the cashier at the last store!"

There was silence as the three of us stared at her. The way she had sounded you'd have thought she accidentally lost her first born child.

Hikaru and Kaoru clasped hands dramatically, tears running down their eyes, "Our poor poverty-stricken peasant." One said. "_Her coupon book_" the other shook his head.

"You two actually carry around eye drops outside of club?" Haruhi asked dryly.

"You never know." The said in monotone unison. The girls around us were now swooning, likely at their _soft and sensitive_ souls.

"I have to go back." Haruhi said plainly, turning back in the direction they had come.

"Hikaru." Karou said, "You should go with-"

"Karou." I said suddenly. "You should go with her."

He looked at me in shock. "I ran into some nasty guys earlier, I think it would be better in Haruhi had someone with her." I explained as if I didn't understand the true reason for his surprise.

"Bu-" He started.

"Ah, Thank you Kaoru." Haruhi smiled. "It's just a little down this way."

Kaoru followed her helplessly, glancing back at us in confusion.

What can I say, after spending the day with the guy, he was actually starting to grow on me. He had been looking out for his big brother all day but...

I watched them go with a hint of a frown inflicting the corner of my lips._ You got to look out for yourself too._

Of course, that left just Hikaru and I behind. I glanced over at the other twin, I had never actually been alone with this one. What was he like, I wondered.

He sighed heavily, jamming his hands in his pockets and stalking over to the nearest bench. I went over and sat on the other side.

"So-" I started to say before he pulled his headphones of over his ears and fished out his phone.

I stared at him it shock. _They're polar opposites!_

Well, if he wanted to ignore me, I'd ignore him right back. Is what I thought. Until a sudden realization dawned on me. I jolted up.

"What?" He asked in irritation.

"I just realized!" I said.

"What?" He repeated.

"Its hard to explain why but Tamaki-senpai is on the war path! He's out for your blood after you spent the day with Haruhi!"

He just looked at me.

"_So_," I said, spelling it out in annoyance, "If he comes across Kaoru and Haruhi, he'll assume your brother is you! Kaoru's in danger!"

He jolted up as well. "Kaoru!" He said.

I thought of where I last saw Tamaki and where he was going, "He'll pass us first, if he hasn't changed direction. So when he comes across us, for your safety, tell him your Kaoru."

Hikaru shook his head angrily, "No way! Then he'll keep going after Kaoru!"

"Then what's the plan?! I asked.

He eyed a nearby shop. "I have an idea" he said.

A couple minutes and one purchase later I was adjusting a short brown wig. "Are you sure about this?" I asked skeptically.

"If I can't pretend to be someone else, you'll have to." He said.

"I don't understand this at all." I said.

"You'll see." He said in annoyance. "Just do what I tell you to."

We walked over to one of the malls exits and waited. Eventually Tamaki came into view. He was no longer running but the speed he was walking as he looked around agitatedly showed he was still looking. Then I lost eyes on him when I was spun around to face the doors, Hikaru pulled me close into his side.

"What are you doing?!" I asked in surprise.

A smirk grew across his face as a murderous aura blossomed behind us.

"Oh shoot me now and make this painless." I said fearfully, finally understanding his plan.

"Let's go Haruhi." He said rather loudly. You could almost see the devil ears and tail emerge as he indirectly taunted his boss. "Let's go somewhere more... quiet."

We sped walked out to avoid being caught, I looked over my shoulder. Tamaki was once again trapped in the theatre of his mind, allowing us a head start before he snapped out of it.

I'm not proud to admit this next part. After all, I had lived on the edge my whole life; on the run from both sides of the law, trapped in a web of criminal activity and double crosses. So really it made no sense that for the second time today I was...

Scared out of my flippin' wits.

"I hope you can run fast." I said. "and far" I added as an afterthought. In a matter of seconds a man that could probably outrun the bullet train would be upon him and what were the odds I wouldn't be caught up in the impact?

"Don't have to." He said.

We walked over to a ledge and he sat.

I stared at him. It was like he wanted to die.

"Sit." He said.

I complied, albeit uncertainly and he tore the brown wig off my head, hiding it in the bush behind us.

A moment later Tamaki can bursting out off the mall.

"HHHIIIIKKKKAAARRUUUUU!' He was lumbering straight towards us. Then, mid step, despite his momentum, he froze. "Eh?" He said. "Where's Haruhi?"

"She went with Hikaru that way" he pointed out into the parking lot.

"Then you're-?"

"Kaoru." He said blandly.

"Ah okay." He said in confusion before leaving.

"He bought that?" I asked in disbelief. "You weren't like Kaoru at all!"

It was true. Kaoru was much more polite. He had made no attempt whatsoever to act or talk like his brother. The way he sat was much too closed off and either way, there was no way Kaoru would ever give away his brother, just like his brother would never give away him.

"What are you talking about?" He asked. "We look identical."

I mulled that statement over as we returned back inside, when we met back up with the other two and even after going home. I think I finally understood exactly why being told apart was so important to them. Everyone thought of them as the same yet apart from looks, they are as different as night and day. How isolating would that feel? I couldn't even imagine.

I still had a ways to go of course in terms of truly telling one from the other. It was easy to tell them apart when they were separate but their personalities seemed to merge when they were together. There was something I was still missing... but at least I was closer.

* * *

**Well, thank you everyone as always for your support and your patience with my... honestly, I'm going to go with laziness. I have no other excuse. I'll try to be better in the weeks to come before I'm dragged back out to school where I will truly have no time. With my spring schedule I'm not even sure when I'm going to have a minute to eat :P**

**Anyway, fun story, after a good amount of searching, there is no term for the strip that's sometimes between parallel escalators. Believe me, I went from reading the full wikipedia article on escalators, to going to escalator blogs (yes those exist), to reading engineering papers. So I will come up with a name. This will be my legacy. The median between escalators will hereby be referred to as "Daphunwaydown" [Da-fun-way-down]**


	11. Chapter 11

**Well. It has been a long long time hasn't it? I'm actually kind of embarrassed. Its been so long I didn't even have any documents in the doc manager left . School term ended Aug 16th for me concluding the most difficult and draining term I have ever had. Geochemistry is not my friend. Computer science is not my friend. In this long time I was away I have come to know a Mei, decided I don't really like a Mei and had the name Mei kind of ruined for me forever which is a bit of a problem when you have to write about an OC with the same name. **

**Sorry for the looong wait, and for the fact that this isn't a very long chapter. I just really wanted to get the ball rolling again and write something tonight no matter how much inertia protests. **

* * *

Nothing but clear skies and warm sunshine was in the forecast today- for Berlin that is. The place where I would be if I ever managed to tell the two twins apart.

Here in this little pocket of Japan however, it was a whole other story. A story that would not sell in any bookstore involving an off coast hurricane bringing in a week of rain too heavy to be called "showers" as supposed to "waves" and winds that kept the water running near-horizontal.

It looked like nighttime in the club room without sunlight beaming into any of the many windows. Outside was a warzone. The rain sounded like the bullets of an M2-Browning machine gun bouncing off the glass, the wind screeched and screamed. Getting home was not going to be fun.

Ootori was of course, milking this for all it was worth.

The clubroom was decorated with an artificial stone wall with a built in artificial fireplace and candles lit each table with the usual lighting of the room dimmed for mood. I actually liked this theme, it was warm and rather cozy- even I would have a hard time wanting to leave in favor of the rain.

The usual teacups were replaced with classy wine glasses of what was probably the most overpriced apple juice I'd ever heard of- created from apples that managed to grow on the very peek of some Hawaiian mountain.

It tasted like any dollar store apple juice.

"Hikaru…" Kaoru whimpered silently. "Can we stay here forever? I don't like the rain."

"Now now," Hikaru chastised, lifting his younger brother's chin, "I'll share my umbrella."

"I don't think an umbrella would do much good in this." I commented.

Haruna sighed in begrudging agreeance. "That's true."

The twins stood still as statues in their embrace- no doubt lamenting their error and coming up with a new dialogue. I could almost see their wheels turning. Well, since they were now fully aware I didn't buy the whole brotherly love thing they had going on- it was actually kind of fun to heckle them a little and watch them trip up.

Hikaru's lips twitched up into a sultry smile.

Here it comes..

"An umbrella… of love."

Kozue and Haruna squealed. "How lovely." They gasped in unison.

I can't believe they pay for this. I can't believe _**I **_pay for this. Still, I was mildly entertained by the creativity. It had become a game with the three of us recently- and to some extent, I think they somewhat appreciated the challenge. They tried to fluster me so in turn I tried to get to them.

A light clinking noise brought our attention, Kyoya was now standing, tapping a fork against a glass of the apple juice. "If you could excuse my interruption but for a moment…" He started but was promptly interrupted.

"_PRINCESSES" _Tamaki almost sang, standing up as well and bringing a hand to his heart, "It is with greatest honour we would like to make an announcement~"

"Elegance" He said, sparkles seeming to erupt from behind him.

"Grace." He purred spinning once as if waltzing.

"And heart racing encounters!" He said with a wink that caused half the room to swoon.

"The host club would like to announce the coming of the midyear ball!" He announced. "Expect invitations in your mail as you arrive home today announcing the time and place written by hand personally from your own regular hosts!"

"We were here forever after club yesterday to write those." Hikaru grumbled low enough that luckily, Haruna and Kozue didn't hear. Kaoru probably kicked him under the table because then he winced.

With that, the host club resumed.

"How splendid!" Kozue remarked. "Your last ball was spectacular!"

Haruna nudged me, "One lucky girl even received an accidental kiss from Haruhi" She said cheekily.

"Is that so?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Bet you wish that was you?" Kozue teased with a wink.

I deadpanned. "Nope. No I really don't." That was many chapters and one huge misunderstanding ago.

The twins coiled up to me, hoping to force my blush. Too bad for them there was only so many times I could be caught off guard before I got used to their flirtation. "Her eyes merely wandered for a brief moment." Hikaru grinned deviously.

"Mei's fully _our_ toy now." Karou purred.

Hikaru froze and I tried to figure out what was wrong.

Karou too apparently, "Hikaru, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." He dismissed.

Kozue giggled, "You called her 'Mei' I didn't know hosts did that."

Karou looked calm but I could see a moment of panic flash in his eyes, "Apologies Hime-" He stumbled before seeming to recover, "it's just" he sparkled, "with such a pretty name I couldn't help but say it."

This was also a mistake, he had been grasping at straws and instead grabbed the horse's tail. He was deviating from his character- taking on the princely type by accident.

Now both of them looked lost. Come to think of it, he had been calling me Mei at the mall as well, I hadn't even noticed.

Even I felt pained by this- I decided to throw them a lifeline. I looked away as if bashful- even if such a gesture at gave them the misguided opinion that they'd won this time at evoking a response from me, "I-it's fine."

With that we moved on to other areas of conversation.

That night when I returned to the mansion I was thoroughly drenched. I had managed to snag the mail on the way in and had cradled it under my coat to keep dry.

'_The host club formally invites you, our honoured princess to our midyear ball. We ourselves look forward to requesting a dance and hope to see you in attendance,_

_The Hitachiin twins.'_

There was a little side note – '_hope you know how to dance ms. nouveau-riche'. _Next to the postscript was a little doodle of a Hitachiin making a mocking face, ruining all formality of the letter.

I'm assuming they didn't do this on Haruna or Kozue's letters. The brevity also struck me for something they had "[stayed] forever after club yesterday to write".

'_Obviously I'm not their favourite customer.' _I thought smugly, '_or perhaps the case is quite the opposite.'_

Below was the time and place, the location being a ballroom on campus which apparently we had (?!) as well as a time set to next week. I nearly choked- it was so soon! Obviously this was something the king had to have decided on a whim or it wouldn't have been so sudden.

There'd be no time to prepare! Well, actually, I didn't care. Too bad for those little demons I actually am a completely proficient dancer- One of the Hikage family's many secret skills.

I tossed the letter to the side smugly, before grimacing. Then again maybe I'd have to play down my abilities… They expected me too be bad for a reason. According to my cover, I am as they had written: "new to money". 'I' wasn't brought up to be well versed in the standards of high society.

'Course then I'd have to endure the pain of their smug quips when I step on their toes.

I think I was starting to take this recent back and forth with them too seriously- I turned it into a competition which very quickly became personal because I hate losing whether the person playing is me or 'me'. I had to remind myself Ueda Mei was a false identity and no matter how much she messed up I'd still have the upper hand because I'd only be fooling them into thinking I was losing.

_Like a chess master_. I tried to convince myself.

It didn't work. I wanted to kick their sorry behinds at dancing and wipe those twin grins off their faces before pummeling them to the ground as they were forced to revel in my glory and superiority.

I shook like a dog in attempts to at least stop dripping from the rain before collapsing into the nearest couch, accepting that it would probably be soaked by the time I got up.

I house was… quiet. Like always.

A quiet I always thought I'd enjoy more. I eyed the tablet on the table. Well, it had been a while since I had called my mother.

The program only ringed twice before my mother's face appeared on the other side of the screen. "Mei?" She asked, "What's up?"

I glanced around at her surroundings, she seemed to be under a desk in a rather dark and open cement room. "Is this a bad time?" I asked.

She waved her hand non-nonchalantly, "Nah." She said. "It's fine. How's your mission going?" Gun shots could be heard in the distance followed by a lot of cursing in German. "Oops. Seems your aunt has been spotted, still, its fine, she'll be fine." She quickly reassured at the end, sensing my worry.

"Uh, it's going okay… There's a ball in a week-"

"Oh my! A ball! How exciting!" She interrupted.

"Uh. I guess?" I said.

She just tutted and shook her head, "Ah, you never were much into that sort of thing but it's what we grifters live for. Ug the allure! The way you walk into the room and the power rush you feel when you gain control with a couple swings of your hips. The allure! The darkness! The wine flavored deception you taste as the drinking glass seductively brushes over your lips as you spot your target and he falls under your spell!"

She was sounding a little like Tamaki to be honest. "Yeeeeeah." I replied, "It's fundamentally a high school dance. I don't think any of that is going to happen."

She simply shrugged, "Still, there's dresses in my room, feel free to borrow any, makeup's in my boudoir."

"You have a room?" I asked dumbly.

We were interrupted by a string of much louder (in other words closer) German swears as well as what I believe was "Find and kill that little vixen!"

"Gotta go, love you lots!" My mother said quickly with a wink. In the background the nearest door was juggling furiously.

The screen when black.

A moment later a message crossed my screen. _'lol they never check the vents do they? Remember to work those assets ;) If half the boys aren't in love with you by the end of the night you're doing it wrong and have brought dishonour unto us all.'_

Another _'lol' _Was send a second later for good measure in case I thought she was serious.

* * *

**Thank you so much for all your support everybody, I truly don't deserve you! I'm really going to try to be better at this whole 'not-disappearing-into-the-wind' thing**


	12. Chapter 12

I sat cross armed at the kitchen table, the mahogany surface barren apart from the invitation. A week passed by in hyper drive speed and the ball was now tonight.

Yes, _tonight, _as in, imminently.

Uncertainty caused my palms to feel wet and I wished for the hundredth time that my mother had picked up when I tried to call her. This wasn't my first ball- I had accompanied my mom when I was 9 to the fundraiser of a very influential American senator. The difference here was that, after entering, I wasn't about to duck out ten minutes in to be hoisted up by my uncle dressed as a cocktail waiter into vents too narrow for an adult to fit.

I actually had to mingle- with _people. _People who likely never once in their childhood scaled down a 44 story building with no safety equipment carrying their favourite hippo plushie in their teeth that their cousin, as a joke, had hidden on the top floor of Rotterdam's tallest skyscraper.

Still, even so, it would have been fine- I could handle a dance. The Hikage's are well versed in the ways of grifting and I had just as much education on ballroom etiquette implanted in my brain as any of the other young men and women attending – just, the emergency lipstick in every girl's clutch will probably be strictly for cosmetic purposes and won't, for instance, double as an electronic jammer.

My issue here was… I wasn't exactly sure of my purpose. It's easy walking into a room if, for some random example, you know going in that your goal is to seduce the president's son into giving you a secret tour of their winter chalet. Seduction can be boiled down to a science. I knew the exact number of times to blink in a minute, the best lighting to stand in and that I looked most attractive with my head tilted ten degrees up with calculated variation depending of the height of the mark. Once you start running all that through your head, it's hard to have any mental capacity left over to feel awkward. It's even easier if all you have to do is snatch something and leave.

Though I had no goal here, not really. I'm pretty sure I was just going for the sake of going.

I sincerely doubted that I was going to crack the code of the twins at this engagement, I was probably only going to get a few minutes from each of them and they would be in full-out host mode the whole time, a guise impossible to crack. It probably would have been stranger if I didn't go though. Either way it wouldn't hurt me to go but there was many potential opportunities I might miss for not going.

Still sometimes it's impossible to separate your thief senses with your antisocial teenage girl senses. In other words, it was hard to tell where this voice screaming 'don't go, don't go, oh god for all that is holy play sick!' was coming from. Probably from the girl. Still, it seemed counter intuitive to ignore my instincts when they were someday going to be the only thing keeping me alive.

That's what I did though.

I returned to my room and eyed the dress I had snatched from what was apparently my mother's closet. It had taken me well over an hour to choose seeing as none of them seemed quite appropriate for a glorified high school dance. I wondered if my mother ever wore anything not black or midnight shades of green, maroon, red, burgundy or blue.

I had already done my makeup and all that was left was to slip it on. I did so and stepped out in front of the mirror doubtfully. What I had finally selected had seemed simple enough. It was a very dark red, which I assumed was a little less startling than black. The neckline wasn't anything that would get me kicked out for indecency. (I mean, my God. I cringe to imagine my mother wearing some of those numbers even if she could pull them off)

The only part I didn't like about it (which was coincidentally probably the only reason my mother liked it) was the VERY open back.

I didn't look like I was going to a ball. I looked more like a woman who stepped out of a noir movie's dimly lit lounge – a femme fatale of sorts. Then I realized, by definition, I totally was.

The limo ride was, as expected, uneventful, and ended way too soon.

The driver came around to open the door for me, allowing me a couple more seconds to compose myself, glance in my compact mirror (for once not as counter surveillance but for actual appearance-checking reasons), and remind myself that I was a totally badass thief that had earned the ability to confidently rock a bold cut dress.

Then the door opened and my confidence shattered, but I hid it well when I stretched one long leg after the other out of the car before stepping out with a (totally fake) model's smirk and walking into the building, all too aware of how the dress elaborated each swing of my hips in a way that had the stragglers outside doing double-takes.

I was already not having fun.

The ballroom was brightly lit. Girls from the club strolled around in groups, giggling at the hosts who were making over-the-top greetings.

A lump formed in my throat, there was a lot of pastel – and I stuck out like a sore thumb.

"Ueda-hime!" A voice boomed with astonishment. I did not grimace, I turned around and gave a confident smile. "Suoh-Sempai." My voice was cool, I tried to visualize and embody snow blowing down a mountain.

"My, you are truly a rose tonight." He bowed, "I can't help but feel ensnared in you thorns-"

A hand whacked him away from me just as he was reaching for my hand. "Senpai, dial it down." Haruhi scolded, "Mei's not your customer, and you're probably creeping her out."

The words seemed to hit the King like bricks. He pointed at himself dumbly, "Me, a creep?"

I didn't mean to say it but it slipped out as I looked to Haruhi in surprise, "No one's ever called him that yet?"

Shock had rendered him mute.

Before he could fall to his knees, Haruhi went to comfort him, "Now, now Senpai. Now's not the time, you have all these ladies that have come to see you…"

"You're right." He said. "Plus…. There's a greater tragedy here…."

"Oh what now?" I asked under by breath.

He pointed at Haruhi, "It's the big dance and my baby girl is in a tux!" He bit into a hankie in tearful frustration, "Daddy wanted to see you in a dress."

"Now we both know why that's not going to happen." She said in annoyance. Then with a monotone expression she grabbed him by the collar, "come on now, back to work." She pause in dragging him away, and bowed to me, "Enjoy your evening Hime, you look very lovely."

"Very lovely indeed." Two voices purred. In an instant, the twins descended on me.

"What do you two want?" I asked, as one stroked my exposed shoulder.

"You pay for this, remember?" He smirked.

I guess I couldn't argue there.

They glanced around in perfect synchronization spotting Kozue and Haruna milling near the buffet. "Of course you came late, so we have other guests to see first." One said.

The other stroked my hair, "save a dance for us will you?"

Then they were gone splitting up between my two 'friends'. Haruhi was waltzing with one of her own guests. I was alone. It was like every school dance nightmare.

I stood there until the dance floor expanded and I had to step back.

I felt myself back into someone and I quickly turned around to apologize, then found myself instead just staring. "Dominic," I said.

Dominic whatever-his-last-name-is smiled at me as if he hadn't a care in the world. His suit was expensive and custom tailored, and despite being in a ballroom filled with a host of unnaturally handsome…. Well, hosts- he held his head high as if he were the most attractive man in the room. Despite my continued assurance that he ISN'T EVEN FLIPPIN' GOOD LOOKING, a couple girls nearby took note of him.

"Well, excuse me miss." He said with a grin, "but let me say you are quite the sight."

I just stared at him blankly. "thank you." I said in a way that didn't seem to accept the compliment at all. Then I walked away, all the way out of the main hall and I waited outside the bathrooms, leaning against the wall.

3, 2, 1. He turned the corner right on my count and I slammed him into the wall. "What are you doing here." I hissed. "I told you to leave me the hell alone you _bloody stalker_."

Playing dumb he tilted his head, all the while acting as if he weren't in immense pain as I twisted his elbow. "I'm not sure what you mean miss," he said. "I just transferred here. My word, are all women here this _forward_? I think I'm going to have a lot of fun." His eyes narrowed, "I _love _it when girls get forceful."

In disgust, I let him go before leaving him behind with his back still against the place I had held him. I didn't know what he was planning, but I also didn't have the energy to deal with him tonight.

Still a little ticked off, I didn't notice until a dancing pair bumped into me. I staggered to the side.

"Sorry Mei!" A voice called, and I got my bearings just soon enough to see Kozue waving apologetically, not breaking her stride with her partner twin.

I had bigger problems though.

I looked down in my hands.

I was holding a wallet that was definitely not mine. "Shoooooooooooooooooooooooooooot" I whispered. "Shoot, shoot,shoot."

It was a bad habit of mine. When I'm angry, my fingers get sticky, and now I just unconsciously lifted a wallet. I opened it up to reveal the student card, _Kaoru Hitachiin. _Shooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot.


	13. Chapter 13

WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS? FLUPPITY FLIPJACK FLAARRRG! I flailed around for a moment helplessly, the wallet jumping around in my hands as if I were a cartoon character with a hot potato. Then, just like that, I returned to composure. I could fix this, I just needed plan.

It's not that I had come to the sudden moral realization that stealing is 'wrong' or anything (pfft), but a missing wallet would introduce way too much chaos into the night.

I watched Kaoru waltz with Kozue, thankful that I could keep track of him via his partner.

I kept the wallet discreetly at my side, rubbing my thumb against the expensive leather thoughtfully. Somehow, I had managed to unconsciously slip it out of his breast pocket. Luckily, it was incredibly thin (rich boys don't do change) so it might not be too difficult to slide back in without him noticing. Of course, this was something I'd ever done before, it's kinda' the opposite of what thieves do after all.

I ran through my options of all the ways I might manage to get it back to him, if it was just a side pocket it would be easy, but this particular operation required some planning.

**A)** I could always just risk a concussion and let them run me over again.

Problems this introduces: I prefer to keep my brain cells.

**B)** I could find Dominic and push _him _into their way, then slip it into Kaoru's pocket when checking to see if he's okay. Bonus point: Dominic might risk a concussion

Problem: Kaoru and Kozue could get hurt, plus I don't exactly fit in right now, someone is bound to see me drag him across the dance hall and throw him into the host.

**C)** I could seduce Kaoru and slip it into his chest pocket while I'm feeling him up.

Problem: There's no way in hell I'm going to do that.

Perhaps it would have been easiest to do while we were dancing, yet I would have then been slipping something into his coat while his attention was on me. Not easy and high risk. Endless scenarios raced through my head. Then, glancing around, I realized I lost sight of the pair.

Haruna and what had to be Hikaru waltzed past, but I couldn't get eyes of the other two anywhere on the dance floor. It was then that I noticed Kozue talking with some other girls at a side table.

_But then where's- _

"Greetings Hime." A voice said from behind.

I swear I almost jumped ten feet in the air. I turned a little too quickly and blurted "Kaoru!"

His jaw went slack and he stared at me in awe.

I wondered if this were a host club gimmick, and if he were about to break out into a rant about _'how my beauty this evening caught him off guard', _but that never happened and the shocked silence drew on.

"How'd you-" His voice faltered, "know?"

Realization dawned on me a little too late, 'No, no, no!" I shook my head, "I didn't! I mean, uh…." I frowned sympathetically and handed his wallet to him. "You dropped this and I was trying to get it to you."

He took it dumbly, not understanding.

"Your student card is in it." I said.

"Oh." He nodded.

"I'm sorry." I said with complete honesty. "I'm really really sorry."

Well, this was a good solution too. I mean, he might wonder how something so secure fell out but it was a lot more plausible than the other possibility that I was an unconscious kleptomaniac that managed to stuff her hand down the inside of his jacket without him noticing. Yet pride from my simple solution never came, I just felt guilty.

He wasn't very good at hiding his disappointment. It showed in the way he deflated and I felt like a monster who walked into a kid's birthday party and jammed a knife into the bounce house.

"I would have figured it out the moment you started talking." I argued weakly, "You're different from him in so many ways, I would have noticed."

He smiled, but it was polite, ingenuine – he was going straight back to work.

"I'm sure you would have Hime," he held out his hand gentlemanly, "may I have this dance?"

I took it regretfully and he escorted me to the dance floor. He turned me to face him and his other hand rose to hold to the small of my bare back, his gloves feeling strange and foreign to the exposed skin. I rested a hand on his shoulder and we began to dance in time to the music.

"Really, though." I insisted, "Someday I will be able to tell you apart on sight, I swear."

He twirled me for a moment, interrupting the conversation, but when I was back around, he just gave a sad smile. "Don't be too concerned Hime, we're identical twins after all. One and the same"

I looked him straight in the eye, "Don't say that. Never say that."

"Mei?" He asked.

A swell of emotion I didn't know I had forced me to speak. "You are different. I don't know Hikaru well enough to compare, but you are smart, funny, loyal, selfless and dependable in all the ways that are strictly Kaoru. You are one of the most kind and wonderful people I've ever met and it's grossly unfair that everyone only sees your value in a package deal with your brother." I told him. Of course the list of 'kind' and 'good' people I knew was rather short but there was little point in telling him that.

I didn't expect what happened next. We stopped and I realized the music hand ended. "Mei… thank you for saying so," he said.

"Just so you know I wasn't just saying it to make you feel better, I don't do that. I was just stating the truth." I said stubbornly.

He laughed slightly, "I know, you're always so honest. Brutally so sometimes."

A lump formed in my throat. No, no I'm not. If only he knew that everything he thought he knew about me was a lie.

"I didn't really get a chance to say this earlier but you really do look lovely." He said, "The only way you could look better is if-" He brought his hand up to brush the bangs out of my eye, tucking the hair behind my ear.

I didn't understand it. The twins were so handsy it was annoying, I thought I'd become immune after the first week but here I was feeling my head swim from such a simple and innocent gesture.

When he smiled at me and said, "There, beautiful." I melted and felt my face heat to impossible temperatures.

"uh…' I tried to speak but short circuited.

Whatever I might have said became irrelevant because the next composition began to play and he took me back into position. "Don't you have other customers?" I asked.

"Yes but… this one's for me, let's just have fun." He grinned boyishly, "Okay?".

I couldn't help it, I grinned back. "Yeah, okay."

We let go of all formality and just danced, where he felt like putting in a flourish he did and we laughed. At the end, in one giant over dramatic ending he dipped me. Then I was playfully tugged back up and I stumbled into him. At that moment were were not two members of the Japanese Elite society. I was not of a world class crime family and he not an heir to the Hitachinn fortune. We were a pair of giggling teenagers. It was elating.

That's when I noticed the space had cleared and we had spectators. Our dance had caught attention and we were the only two left on the floor. People were smiling, some were clapping. Tamaki might have been joyfully crying and whatever I was feeling before dissipated as our private moment had turned out to be not so private.

The only person who was not grinning was Hikaru. He wasn't upset either. He just stared at us with the look of someone at an art gallery trying to make sense of a particularly abstract painting.

"HOW MOVING!" Tamaki rushed towards us. "You're dance was absolutely moving!"

"Uh…" I looked around in embarrassment.

He turned away to address everyone else, "I'm sure no one out there would disagree if we announced Ueda Mei as our Queen for our second host ball?"

No one objected.

"What exactly does that mean?" I asked quietly to Kaoru.

He grinned and turned me around to fully face him. "This." He smiled and kissed my cheek.

Whhhhhhhhhaaaaaaat?

The audience squealed with a "how lovely!" and just like that the night carried on as if none of this ever happened.

Kaoru moved on to his next customer and I ghosted over to Haruna and Kozue.

"What was that all about?" I asked.

Haruna grinned, "You both looked like you were having so much fun we couldn't help but watch."

"but that whole Queen bit?"

"it's a host club ball tradition now I suppose." She explained, "They present one girl each time as Queen and she gets a kiss on the cheek from her host. I'm surprised he didn't wait for his brother though since they're both technically your host, it's such a shame."

"Oh Mei," Kozue beamed, "It was so cute, like a scene out of Cinderella."

Well, with Karou's fixation to referencing everything in life to that fairytale, he'd probably have liked that.

Yet, it was somehow foreboding…

Pumpkin carriages of the lies we conjure will always crumple at midnight.

I suppose out of anyone though it could apply to me. I was Ueda Mei: billionaire oil tycoon's daughter. That was my pumpkin carriage. Someday soon I was going to have to physically turn the hour hands myself and run – reverting to my true self: Hikage Mei, the thief. My carriage was always meant to turn back into a pumpkin, and there would be no glass slipper left behind.

I realized something I hadn't before. This con wasn't about making it up to the twins like I first thought. My mother, as friendly as her outward façade is, is a hardened, detached thief. She doesn't care about her broken promise at all, why would she? This mission of sorts was to prove myself and the new things I could bring to the table. To do something she couldn't and that was all there was too it.

If I was going to learn to tell them apart, I was going to have to get close, force them to let me in. Then, the moment one of the people they'd been waiting for their entire life appeared… I was going to disappear and leave them brokenhearted. Leave _him_ brokenhearted.

And he _would_ be hurt. I'm not oblivious, I know that everything tonight was not normal host treatment. I know to some certain extent, he already cares for me. Then the day I learn to see him as he wants so badly for me to see, I will betray him. I will leave him.

Though maybe that was also the point. I had thought that this was a sketchy job. What kind of thief trail was it if I never stole anything? Maybe the point was to prove that I would be willing to get up close and personal with my victims and still be prepared to hurt them when the time came.

As the night drew to a close I returned home early. Feeling sick to my stomach.

I pulled out my phone to call my mother. I didn't necessarily have anything to say, I just wanted someone who knew the whole story to say they were proud. That I was doing the right thing.

Instead all I got was a robotic voice, "The number you have dialed is not in service..."

* * *

**Oooo. Okay, so maybe I am pushing the whole romance thing too fast but it's chapter 13 and there has been surprisingly little romance for a "romance" fic.**

**Thank you as always for reading and reviewing! Some of you had such good ideas I almost changed what I was going to do with images in my head of how funny a "which-twin-is-which?" scenario could play out in the wallet return**

**To Fonix girl: I have absolutely no idea if guys carry wallets in their tuxes but I'd assume they do. They don't have purses to leave at their table so...(nervous lol) I mean if its thin enough why not? They always seem to carry something in their chest pocket on tv- cigars, cheques, etc. Who knows, guys are a strange strange mystery. :D**

**The weirdest thing happend this week at work, basically fifty million things occured one after the other and it all ended with me running through the halls of a very fancy rich boy's prep school looking like a drowned dog in full PPE thinking 'this seems like such an Ouran moment'. I gotta say, having now seen a private school in real life, it really is a different world let me tell you. The teachers all wear very expensive suits and the facilities are so nice and the parents picking up the students just emanate 'wealthy' **


	14. Chapter 14

**sorry for the wait, I have no excuse.**

* * *

I lay on my back on the bed, lolling my head sideways to stare at my phone. I had called her twenty nine times with no response.

Maybe her phone was just dead. Maybe it broke, or maybe…

I shook my head and launched myself gracefully to my feet.

It had only been a day. Not enough time had passed since she went AWOL for me to have reason to worry. Sure this day felt like an eternity to me who was doing nothing but when you're in the field, time moves a lot faster.

Despite my reasoning, I picked the phone back up and tried one more time.

"The number you have dialed is-"

In frustration, I killed the call and tossed the phone back on my bed.

It was late but I wouldn't be able to sleep so I changed into some sweats and headed down to the gym to beat out some of my frustrations on some unsuspecting punching bag.

My plans were tossed out the window though when a loud ring echoed through the empty mansion. Instinctively I jumped to the ground.

_What was that? _

Almost impatient the ring sounded again.

Realizing it was probably the sound on my doorbell, I moved to investigate. Remaining in a crouch, I creeped to the window and peeked.

The twins. Somehow, someway, the twins were at my door.

Giving up any sense of stealth, I slouched over to the front door, not caring how long I made them wait. When I reached the grand foyer, I took a deep and tired breath before opening the door and answering with a "What do you want?"

They looked surprised.

"You answer your own door?" One asked.

"How charming, very commoner Ms. Nouveau riche." The other winked.

Annnnnd they just wasted their fifteen seconds I was going to afford them. I made to close the door in their faces but a foot prevented its path.

"Not so fast," they both said slyly and grabbed either of my arms to pull me outside.

"Okay I'll bite," I said, "What exactly is going on here? I'll have you know I'm trained in self defense and I _can_ make this look like an accident."

"It's a new add on to the ball that the king suggested after reading some commoner manga," one said.

"What's the most romantic part of any sort of romantic outing?" the other asked.

"I don't know."

"Ah Mei," he shook his head, "Not a romantic bone in your body is there?" Okay, so that one was Kaoru, noted. Blue tie = Kaoru. (they'd switched from the other night)

"Just tell me so we can get this over with," I ordered.

"The farewell at the door!" He announced, "Though naturally we couldn't take every guest home the other night so we're making rounds tonight to give that heart-thumping conclusion to yesterday night to all our guests!"

I nodded, "Okay, well, bye. See you at school."

I tried to turn back but they still hadn't let go of my wrists.

"Nice try," said Hikaru.

"We're going to do this properly," Kaoru smirked.

In perfectly synchronized motion their hands slid down to hold both of mine and they kissed my knuckles. "Goodnight Hime," they both said together.

Then, in an instant they flipped off their host switch. "Finally," Hikaru sighed, "We're done, this took all night! Why'd you have to be so stubborn- this could have been over so much faster."

Kaoru yawned, "All these mansions are so spread apart and remote."

Still overwhelmed by their total reversal from host to off-duty it took me a moment to realize where they were going. "Hey wait! No! What are you doing?"

"Invite us in," they said in monotone unison, "we're tired."

They didn't wait for invitation though and just walked in themselves. I followed, "This- this is not proper! Go home immediately!"

"Ueda, entertain us," Hikaru said as I followed them to the visitor reception room, or third tv room, or whatever it was called. Mansions have way too many rooms.

"No," I said in outrage, and then thought up a quick lie, "My parents are sleeping. They'll kill me if they find I brought boys over!" Not true of course, my mother would be so proud it would be annoying.

I felt a small prickle at my heart when I remembered I couldn't tell her even if I wanted to right now. In the brief time I was quarreling with them, I had forgotten about my worries.

"We'll be quiet," Hikaru said.

"And the upmost gentlemen," Kaoru added.

Their words didn't measure up to their actions as Hikaru grabbed the remote and they both slothed on the couch.

Of course they flipped straight to pay-per-view and I was about to complain but two things stopped me. First, it made no sense that a rich girl would object to the slight fees, second, it was the beginning of the new Jason Borne movie and I was immediately enraptured.

"You going to stand there the whole movie?" Asked Hikaru, loosening his tie and shrugging off his jacket. He spotted the mini fridge where I kept my cokes and cracked one open without asking.

He tossed a second to Kaoru who was in the process of mimicking his prior actions. Catching it effortlessly, he turned a jokingly suggestive grin my way, "Of course, I suppose as an extra service we could let you sit with us." He pat the spot of couch next to him.

I stood there for a moment before smirking, deciding to turn the tables on him. Walking over, I plopped down right beside him, as in, right beside- hips touching hips. That'll show them how little I care.

Surprisingly though, his face erupted red and rather than make any quip further he turned his attention to the screen.

Hikaru watched quietly before seeming to sulk and now neither seemed like they were having fun, good.

I settled in to watch the movie smugly, no longer even contemplating the bizarreness of this sudden situation.

Halfway through the movie the doorbell rang again.

"Not it," I called.

Kaoru looked at me in surprise, "but it's your hou-"

"Not it," Hikaru cut in.

I shrugged at the twin, "Well I guess you'll have to answer."

He just stared at us bewildered before getting up and walking off uncertainly.

Hikaru snickered, "He's never answered a door before."

"Well then this will be a good learning experience," I shrugged and stole his corner of the couch.

A minute later he returned with the rest of the hosts in tow, none looking too impressed.

Haruhi had Kaoru by the arm, "Hikaru, Kaoru, the whole point in the goodnight at the door was the say goodnight at the door. Something which I can assure you she won't have with you two being part of it."

Burn. I'm remembering why I fell for her.

"I am very sorry for these two Mei, they were supposed to come right back after the job was done." Haruhi explained. "Say sorry you two."

"Sorry," Kaoru conceited.

She turned to Hikaru, "And you?"

He casually ignored her, favouring watching the movie.

"Oi, Hikaru." She growled and walked over to stand in front of him, blocking his view.

I sighed and scratched the back of my head, "it's okay I guess. It's been a rough day and I suppose this disturbance has put my mind off it a bit."

Hikaru simpered, "See, she doesn't mind. Why not watch the movie with us?"

Eyes flashing with mischief he grabbed her arm and pulled her down onto his lap.

That was all it took for the fragile peace of my living/?/room to snap.

"Hiiiikaaaaaruu." A dark voice growled.

Kaoru sighed, "Not again." I couldn't help but agree this was getting to be an awfully repetitive plot device.

"GET YOUR FILTHY MITTS OF MY DAUGHTER!" The whole house seemed to shake with that exclamation. What I witnessed next was one of those acts of inhuman strength much like when a mother lifts a car off her child. He lifted her off of him with one arm while smashing the twin's face down into the couch pillow with the other.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru called in worry and rushed over to his brother. "Hikaru," he repeated softly, laying his brother's head in his lap.

"Kaoru…" Hikaru's voice came out quiet and he lifted a weak hand to cradle's the other twin's cheek. "You're going to have to be strong."

"I don't understand." Kaoru said and Hikaru removed his other hand covering his lower to abdomen to show the liquid staining his shirt like blood, brown blood.

Goddammit, he spilled the coke. I swear they're like two year olds, I should have given him one of those no-splash sippy cups.

His head fell sideways in his [fake] death and his Kaoru cried out his name again in [fake] anguish.

Haruhi, having recollected her wits clocked her senpai over the head with her fist, effectively bringing him down. Then she tore the brothers apart, "Enough you two, club time's over. You've caused a real disruption in her house."

The Ice King cleared his throat, "Although, it has been weighing on my mind. This house seems rather empty.

"Her parents are sleeping." Hikaru said blandly, rising from the dead.

"Heavy sleepers," Ootori noted and I looked away to hide my guilt.

"I'll just go get another shirt for you," I said to Hikaru, hoping to avoid any further prodding from the upper year.

My mother had a couple men's shirts in her closet, I guess to cement in the house's cover. We Hikage's are thorough.

I had just begun routing through the wardrobe when Kaoru burst in in a panic. "Mei! We just realized that some got onto the couch too! I've never cleaned spills before but Haruhi says we need a special cleaner!"

He paused from his panic to glance around in confusion.

"What?" I asked.

"This is your parent's room…" He said.

"And?" I asked.

"They're not here," he said.

Shoot. Shoot. Darn it.

I pulled a men's shirt out and inspected it for size. "They're not," I admitted, failing to keep my voice at a normal volume as I said this.

"Mei," He said.

"This should fit him," I said, ignoring his concern, "Actually you two are the same body type, Let me just hold this up to you for a sec-"

He tore the shirt from me and grabbed either of my shoulders. I refused to make eye contact.

"Mei," He said again, "Why is no one here?"

"Geez," I said slowly, "You hosts, always so dramatic."

"Something's not right here," he insisted. "Where is your staff? Actually, where is your family?"

That was the exact question I'd been asking myself all day, but not one I'd wanted to hear vocalized. I felt my eyes prickle. "I don't know," I said with painful honesty. Then, feeling daring I looked him straight in the eye. "What do you what from me? I don't know." My voice cracked.

His eyes widened, then before I knew it I was pulled into a hug.

"Let go of me idiot," I mumbled, making no real attempt to push him away.

His response was just to hold tighter and it was as if everything I had holding me together was crumbling apart. An actual tear escaped and rolled down my cheek.

"Honestly," I said, arms coming up to loosely hold him back, fingers pulling at the back of his shirt. "You two never listen."

"It's going to be okay," he told me, and for some reason I just believed him.

Moment was over.

I pushed him away and swiftly wiped my eyes dry, "Course it is," I scoffed. "Let's just get this shirt over to the more annoying one so I can hunt down a cleaner."

I paused at the door frame and looked back with a slight smile, "When they do find their way back, the last thing I need is to be yelled at about the couch. It's the most expensive thing in the room."

He followed me out. "Haruhi says we have to leave as soon as we're done… are you going to be okay?"

I glanced at him, "Who do you think you're talking to?" Then, I grimaced. "Okay admittedly you might think you saw a moment of weakness back there but… you are wrong and if you tell anyone otherwise I will kill you."

He chuckled slightly, "I don't doubt it."


End file.
